The Q&A Hole Returns!

So it’s about damned time for this arch investigative series to begin again, to grill a new batch of humans for some tasty intel, and here we are now.

Once a week – every Tuesday at 8am, to be precise, our web editor says (or he’ll have your reporter’s head on a pike, or some such Game of Thrones-y retribution) – once a week we’ll be bringing you a new question answered by your friends and neighbors on the street, by interesting people we know through the internets, and occasionally by talented citizens of one level of celebrity or another. And wherever those groups might overlap.

In a week or so we plan to edge into the heavier, deeper side of philosophical inquiry, sure, the sort of thing you can enjoy reading while some original vinyl from Demdike Stare is being amplified via your vintage stereo.

But right now, the day after Labor Day weekend, the football-loving crowd still glowing about the Horns’ victory and everybody recovering from some kind of hangover, let’s start off with a relatively innocuous question for our random group of respondents:

WHAT'S THE MOST DIFFICULT THING ABOUT BEING A GROWNUP?

Lauren Weinstein, cartoonist: The most difficult thing about being a grownup is having to make hard decisions where there are are no right answers.

Pat Dean, comedian: The knowledge that things don’t always get better for everyone. That the person you love will not only never feel the same way, but would be confused and repulsed if they knew about your feelings. The names of dead friends that you can’t bring yourself to remove from your contacts list. Mirrors (why are there always so many mirrors) reflecting what you want no one to see. The unending fight to remain part of a world that does not want you around. Also, sometimes the line at Taco-Mex is way too long – that’s pretty lame too. Waking up early is also bad.

Mickle Maher, playwright: The Moderation. Largely self-imposed, largely necessarily so. But Moderation isn't a reward in itself, right? It's just an avoidance of things that, in excess, hurt. There's a little Participation Trophy in it, like, "Oh, moderate? good for you, you're moderate, that must take such intelligence and skill." As an accomplishment it's got the biggest ratio of Lack-of-Impressiveness to Pain-in-the-Ass-to-Achieve there is.

Valerie Ward, improviser, co-owner of Sweet Ritual: For me, it's realizing two seemingly contradictory things at once. First, you are solely responsible for your thoughts, actions, feelings, etc. There are of course lots of factors that affect you, but ultimately the responsibility (or as a therapist so wonderfully defined it, the ability to respond) for all of that lies only with you. And I think the biggest, hardest, most important of those responsibilities is the second thing, which is asking for help. It requires a lot of vulnerability, self-awareness, honesty with yourself and others. And it's almost impossible for me. I got so little help growing up that I never learned how to ask for it. But it's what allows you to reach your potential, make connections, and know yourself and others better. Short answer: The hardest thing is feeling like there's no one to help you. But, really, there are lots of people to help you; but at some point no one can ask for the help except you.

Rebecca Schwarz, author:  Aaaaah, I had to talk at Worldcon this year, about Young Adult literature – which I unashamedly enjoy reading. And I was thinking about that, about being a grownup, and, you know – your life slowly becomes constrained. By all the daily responsibilities. When you think about starting a family or something, you think it’s gonna be this huge pain, right? And in some ways it is. But it’s more like, all the little changes and the narrowing of your vision of the world. Because you’re constantly having to navigate – like, this needs to happen by 7am, so I can be here at 10am, and then there’s a dentist appointment, and – you know what I mean?

Shannon McCormick, improviser, actor: Oh man, I don’t know, being a grownup’s pretty cool. I’d much rather be a grownup than be a child – in the sense of autonomy and independence. I guess the most difficult thing is, ah, having to pay for crap. And having the money to pay for crap – that’s a drag. But except for that? Being a grownup: Wicked cool.