Qmmunity: Too Hot to Handle

Summertime scorchers mean more time indoors to overthink our queer lives

My feelings exactly
My feelings exactly (Photo by Lisa Fotios via Pexels)

I’m a well-adjusted bisexual, so of course I have a therapist who I complain to every other Friday. One complaint I bring to sessions often is how much I hate the summer. Too hot! Going outside saps my strength the moment I step a single toe onto concrete – I live in an apartment complex; there’s a LOT of concrete – and the outfits? I can only work so well around sweat stains, and Austin summers put the kibosh on layering. There’s a finite amount of big-shirt, short-short looks I can arrange!

Anyway, when I brought this up to my therapist, she asked what my “routine” is for dealing with the summer. My hot-weather coping mechanisms are very convenience based: buying premade coffee instead of brewing at home; spray sunscreen to ease application; and the biggest one – not going out, like, at all. While that helps keep me from the sensory nightmare of humid Austin, it sparks a different hell. I love to go out! Part of my freakin’ job as a queer events cover-er and columnist is chopping it up around town. Locked away in my air-conditioned cave, I’m safe from the summer sads but left fully open to indoor depression.

To be honest, so much of being queer right now feels like that same two-sided problem. Be safe or be exposed – either way you’re going to be sorry in some fresh and terrible way. People chose the closet all the time because the alternative is being on display, being turned into conservative cannon fodder. But that closet gets cramped, and lonely, and smells bad after so long without proper air ventilation.

Obviously, my summer situation and the myriad experiences of queerness the world over are not perfectly comparable. Being out and proud doesn’t give you a sunburn, for one. Yet the same internal argument happens when I’m looking at an outdoor vendor market at 3pm – the hottest point of the day, to me anyway – and every time I have to give my coming-out monologue: Is being authentically me worth putting my well-being at risk? I can’t tell you what the right choice is, because I’m not you and also we haven’t got there yet in my therapy sessions. But I will say this: At those outdoor queer events, there’ll always be a crowd of Virgos who brought water to share. Real queer community helps each other. At least when you’re out, you’re not alone.

Night of a Thousand Lanas: Let the Light In Edition

Thursday 15, Volstead Lounge

The Vixens of Volstead tribute Lana Del Rey with a night featuring performances by May Magdalene and Tequila Rose set to the sad-girl crooner’s hits. Plus: a Lana costume contest, themed cocktails, and tunes spun by DJ Casstevens.

Waterloo Squares: Square Dance Classes

Thursday 15, Trinity Church of Austin

Not strictly queer, but according to workout queen Erica Nix, it could be. Grab ya queer gals, guys, and genderless buds for this beginner square dance lesson.

Drag Bingo Happy Hour

Friday 16, Jo’s Red River

What does $10 get you at this bingo night? Those 10 bucks get you a bingo card and a place to slurp happy-hour drinks while host Lawrie Bird calls out numbers. Could one or five of those numbers be your ticket to a prize? You’ll have to attend to find out!

Hard Rubber ATX Presents: Summer of Love Act II

Friday 16, Highland Lounge

Back for their second outing, the rave-ragous folks of Hard Rubber continue their tribute to Sixties hippy-dippy dance love.

Eagle’s Ark

Friday 16, the Austin Eagle

This is a rave for all the furries, pups, and critters in town who need to let the animal out, dancewise. Hosted by the Austin Eagle Kennel Club and Alamo City Furry Invasion, there’ll be a pup mosh, clothes check, and music from DJs BASSCAT, Axyl, and Halcyon. Protective gear is recommended.

Kingdom

Friday 16, Oilcan’s

Get the royal treatment while watching these drag performers: Brigitte Bandit, Kino Kino, Selma Bawdy, host Alexander the Great, and special guest Eva Inez!

Femmebow

Friday 16, Cheer Up Charlies

Straight from creator Dragonnqueen’s description, this is a “fully immersive party featuring infectious Latinx underground beats (and more) played by femme/nb powerhouse DJs creating a space to dance into the heat of the night without inhibitions.” Four DJs feature: Ella Ella, La Morena, Hierba Malita, and Dragonnqueen, obvi.

Distorted

Saturday 17, Ovenbird

Malibu Imported brings back her Southside drag brunch with a whole new VIP package available, including party favors, champers, and special seating. But you don’t have to go VIP mode to see this performance featuring the wonderful Maxine LaQueene, Felesia, Kiki Divine, and Jeffica Fox.

Dues & Doughnuts

Saturday 17, Voodoo Doughnut

The only Sixth Street drag show and it’s sweet as can be. Nova Sparks hosts this drag open mic every other Saturday, so come help queer up Austin’s haven for drunk straights.

Back to Cool

Saturday 17, ASHwell

Find your new school fit at this free event featuring not just incredible performances by Miss Trans Texas Vivica Perry, Maxine LaQueene, Simone Jewel Riviera, and Sin Corker, but also stylists, makeup, raffles, and a clothing swap.

Bebesota Brunch: Bad and Boujee

Sunday 18, Taquero Mucho Domain

Bring your best girls, boys, and enbys to see performances from Amber Nicole Davenport, Jeffica Fox, JT Davenport, and Johnee Blaze – plus host Beauty, of course.

QBWA Early Morning Hike

Sunday 18, Mayfield Nature Preserve

Marlene, aka @ezmjay, leads a hike along with Queer Black Women Alliance. Enjoy Austin’s many outdoor offerings while hanging with fellow athletic or at least hiking-curious queer Black women. Make sure to bring water, snacks, and “good vibes,” as their Insta post advises.

A Great Gay Pool Party

Sunday 18, Austin Motel

Wash off the weekday stresses at this pool-tacular party, featuring beats by DJ Boyfriend ATX, drag from Harlot and Honey Baby, a pop-up market by the Little Gay Shop, and Ryan Fitzgibbon (A Great Gay Book) signin’ tombs for ya.

Texass

Sunday 18, ColdTowne Theater

Laugh your way through Pride season at this queer comedy and karaoke party. Sarah Spear hosts a lineup featuring Jose Da’Hype, Moe Christine, Aira Juliet, Angelina Martin, Derek Kopswa, Brandi Davis, and Aaron Seroussi.

Sapphic Singles

Sunday 18, Double Trouble

Find a friend, a lover, or an enemy who may later become your lover at this sapphic dating event nestled in North Loop’s Double Trouble.

Book Lovers: LGBTQ+ Night

Tuesday 20, Radio/East

Queer bookworms, come and get your new love – whether book or human or both – at this speed dating event presented by Austin Independent Book Fair. It’s like the Scholastic Book Fair but for your gay little heart.

Drag Queen Bingo

Wednesday 21, St. Elmo Brewing Co.

Anyone can win at bingo, but only the most special will win this bingo hosted by Louisianna Purchase and the Little Gay Shop. Or the medium-est special. Just have fun out there, tbh!

Queer Swim

Thursday 22, Barton Springs Pool

Splish and splash with your queer community at this casual hang out. Each swim this year also features an on-land activity, so bring a good attitude, secure swimwear, a pool noodle if ya need it, and plenty of sunscreen. Look for the Pride flag and pool float to find your crew.

BABE ATX Back to School Takeover

Thursday 22, Volstead Lounge

Local women and nonbinary DJ collective brings big beats to the Volstead dance floor with featured performers MYST, DJ Lóa, and Prissy P.

Want more queer? Visit austinchronicle.com/qmmunity

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