Qmmunity: Clowning Around
Queer embarrassment artist Andie Flores brings her show about “a clown idiot” to Crashbox
By James Scott, Fri., Nov. 10, 2023
Clown behavior is the new November trend, highlighted by Ph.D. student and "embarrassment artist" Andie Flores' reprise of her hourlong stage show To Get There... You Must Undergo... A Radical... Transformation at Crashbox this Nov. 10-12 and 17-19. Collaboratively brought to life by Flores and drag artist Arinna Dior Heys, the show follows "a depressed clown stuck in a self-improvement/self destruction spiral," whose journey toward acceptance takes them through a strange, silly world.
One of the inspirations for To Get There... was an appreciation Flores continues to hold for her artistic partner, Arinna. Locals may recognize Arinna as a prominent member of the 2022 Best of Austin Award-winning drag show Coco Cxnts, or as part of Bone Apple Tea, a Sunday drag brunch co-hosted by Flores. "Each time Arinna performs, it's like OMG there couldn't possibly be a stage big enough for what she does and what she so graciously shares with us," Flores says. "It's like she can command gusts of wind, open up the clouds a bit."
Arinna's stylistic blend of Broadway, old-school, new-school, and "some school that hasn't been invented yet because what she does can't really be taught" was a perfect fit to play the idealized clown self to Flores' "clown idiot" main character. "I have so much respect and admiration for Arinna because of her ability to lose herself in a moment," Flores says. "She reminds me to trust that I can just exist as I am." The two performers' collaborative process brought a lightness to the story, bolstered by their onstage chemistry. "Whatever dumb idea I throw at her, she fully turns out the fantasy," Flores explains, "and in turn I always try to match the wild energy she brings."
Featured first at OUTsider Fest in February, Flores describes the original To Get There... as being born of self-hatred, doubt, and frustration. "I felt stuck, like maybe I didn't have that much to offer as an artist, as a performer, as a creative person," she recalls. "So I tried to write honestly about that, and how utterly futile it felt to ruminate on it so much." Doing so provided her with the healing tools to approach the material again with "a new tenderness that wasn't there before," she says.
Subtle departures from the original run include surprise guests – Bobby Pudrido, Venus Rising, Harlott, Faith Anderson – a new set, tech by Celine Lassus, and actual physical programs. But Flores wanted to preserve as much as she could of the original story. "As an artist who tries way too hard not to repeat ideas or outfits (which is ... not incredibly smart, by the way!), it was important for me to not change the show completely from its debut," she says. "The story is very personal and it deserves to be sat in it a little."
A crucially kept-in show theme is failure – asking questions, Flores says, like, "What do we do with our failures? How do we carry them with us? Can everybody see them on us?" Flores' clown/embarrassment artist work wrestles with those questions, too, as she uses moments of cringe to prod at the audience-artist relationship of seeing and being seen. Those uncomfortable feelings have potential, Flores says, to develop newness and growth. "Our show is about struggling to figure out if there's some future version of you that deserves more love somehow," she says, "and about wondering how much emotional energy should even be spent in that kind of dizzying inquiry." The only way to find the answer, of course, is to endure embarrassment: "[Sharing] truths and hard feelings can be embarrassing and asking for help can make us feel embarrassed or cringe and yet, we must do all these things!" Flores insists. "Being embarrassed is such a challenging and fruitful tool for world building. It sharpens us toward more vulnerability."
Tickets for To Get There... You Must Undergo... A Radical... Transformation run $25 on Eventbrite. Friday & Saturday shows start at 8pm with doors at 7:30; Sunday shows begin at 2pm with doors opening at 1:30. Nov. 12 is a mask-mandatory showing, but Flores encourages all audiences to mask up so everyone can enjoy a safe experience.
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