Opinion: If We’re Outlawing Drag, Can We Please Burn Down Hooters Next?

As the Texas legislative session comes to a close, I want to take this moment to recognize the Legislature's most pointless effort – the various attempts to ban drag. Bills like House Bill 1266, HB 3240, HB 4378, and HB 643 insisted that drag perpetuates misogyny and "exposing children to very sexual content at an early age."

Do you feel more protected from "hypersexualization" now? I sure do. But if society is worsened by people in wigs lip-syncing, why doesn't the Legislature have a (wing) bone to pick with women in tight, functionless uniforms, serving overpriced fast food in an environment of "good times" for $2.15 an hour? Where is the passionate legislation protecting children from the tig ol' bitty breastaurant industry?

It's nothing new that societal attitudes toward breasts (whether they are made of padding or flesh) are completely inconsistent. As a nursing mother, I look around anxiously whenever my child cries out in hunger publicly. I know that showing my breast will elicit looks of disgust and shock. Even though I am using my breasts for their biological purpose, providing nutrition for a future member of society, pearls get clutched. Society's edict doth decree that even on the hottest days, I must don some terrible tablecloth over my squirming baby, lest I bring shame unto my house. So why are we embracing the establishments that make money off sexualizing the same body part during a family meal? It's almost as if legislators are not genuinely concerned about drag! Could it be that they are not genuinely concerned about children either?!

If protecting children is the goal, we could be writing policy that would create safe spaces for children and teens. Children are made safest by being taught about boundaries and healthy relationships. Helping them to recognize their own agency, spot abusive power dynamics, and have a voice and vocabulary to ask for justice would go a long way to helping them become whole and confident members of our society. Legislation that creates curriculum or space for education focused in these areas would help stop child sexual abuse.

There is also the profound crisis for adolescents who need space to safely socialize, create meaningful relationships with peers, and see themselves represented in a healthy and safe reflection in advertisement and media. While many decry teens' use of social media, regulations simultaneously limit the physical spaces that have traditionally served them. Dance halls, roller rinks, theatres, arcades, malls, and parks no longer welcome supervisionless youth, if they even exist. Teens, in developmental need of agency outside the home, are forced onto virtual platforms with no protections. And the calls to "protect the children" are never applied fairly to all youth – a hint of physical development can knock a child out of the category that "deserves" protection and into the category of "old enough to know better." Teens transition into adults when it pleases those in power to make it so: whether it is to meet a desire for legal prosecution, morph into cheap labor, or objectify for sexual pleasure. The designation is rarely a reflection of science and never an expression of love or choice on behalf of the teen.

And now, thanks to the rolling back of child labor laws, teens can potentially learn the virtues of work ethic by joining the team at their favorite family wing shack. Children as young as 11 or 12 can join in the front lines of fun and be treated "like a rock star" as long as they can fill out the uniform.

If the true aim of our legislators is creating policy to protect and nurture the development of our youth, they can listen to the voices of educators and experts and actually propose initiatives that would help their cause. Or they can listen to me and, please, at least burn down the Hooters while you're at it.

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Mae Joldersma is a 20-year veteran of the restaurant industry and is currently at University of Texas getting a master’s in social work at Steve Hicks.

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