After a Fashion
On updo, blue rinse, hillbilly teeth, and Karl Rove, as only Your Style Avatar can muster
By Stephen MacMillan Moser, Fri., Jan. 15, 2010
LE SCANDAL ROVALE I hardly know how to talk about this but can trust you to lend a sympathetic ear. I have a good friend, a dangerously exciting, blond, tennis-playing Tarrytown housewife whom I adore. But I'm trying to be discreet, so I won't mention her name (sorry, Jessica). So, Madame X was telling me a little Christmas story that has shocked and disturbed me since. Apparently, a formerly vacant home behind her property had a new resident. It seems that some unexplained noise brought all the neighbors out of their homes on Christmas morning, wondering what the sound was and where it had come from. One particular neighbor knocked at the door of the previously vacant home to ask the new resident if they had heard the noise, too. While chatting with the resident, who has apparently signed a two-year lease, the neighbor kept thinking, "Hmmm, I think I've seen this guy somewhere before." Soon, the new resident offered his hand and introduced himself ... as Karl Rove. He said he had just moved in and was awaiting construction on his new home on Tarry Trail. Pleasant and genial, Rove bade the neighbor goodbye. Neighbor couldn't wait to tell the others about her experience. Shocked, another neighbor decided to "drop by" the Rove residence with a plate of Christmas cookies. Again, he introduced himself as Karl Rove and revealed that he was here to work for Kay Bailey Hutchison. Make of it what you will, chickens, but I knew you'd want to know.
BLATANT SHILLING I am a finalist in the Austin Dental Spa's Most Interesting Patient in the World contest. If I win, the prize is a $15,000 smile makeover. Oh. My. God. I've been embarrassed by my hillbilly teeth all my life, and the possibility of having beautiful perfect teeth makes me shiver with antici ... pation. Go to www.austindentalspa.com and follow the link to the entries, and please vote for me! I'll take you out for a drink, promise.
FUR FLYING After my white fur coat became so infamous last year, I could hardly be traipsing around in it this year. My mom asked me what I wanted, so I got a new mink coat for Christmas. She knew I didn't mean "new" as in going to the Sakowitz Furs and dropping $10,000, but "new" as in "new to me." My favorite thing about furs is that they do not appreciate in value and in fact plummet the minute they leave the store. Preworn furs can be had cheap as dirt on eBay. So I scoured for one that fit my criteria (and my waist) and bought a beaver coat, but I didn't like the fit, and the fur itself was too bulky for my taste. So I sold it, recouping my mother's money, and bought a black Russian rabbit fur coat. Ix-nay on the abbit-ray. Sold that on eBay and in turn bought a dark espresso-colored mink. Ahhhh. A surprising choice for me (I originally wanted black or white only), but it was the huge turned-back cuffs and stand-up collar on this coat that sold me. It is pure Hollywood glamour, and it reminds me of the fur coat Bette Davis wore as Margo Channing in All About Eve. So, espresso-colored mink it is, and I'm very pleased with the choice. The coat was a little more than $200. Thank you, Mother. It's warm and luxurious during this bleak no-frills season.
THE UPDO UPDATE Recently I'd decided to let my high-maintenance platinum blond hair become a thing of the past. I'd loved it, but it had worn out its welcome. I had no earthly idea what the real color of my hair is, but it turns out to be quite salt-and-peppery. Heavy on the salt. So I've been using a special alchemic shampoo and conditioner by Davines for "silver" hair. It's very dark purple and imbues a cool tone that counteracts any yellowing of the hair. On the downside, it's not dissimilar to the blue rinse that old ladies used to put on their hair. (In fact, the horrible reality is that as I was dressing to go out the other night, I put on my mink and my plus-sized rhinestone bracelets, and while I was applying my fragrance, it dawned on me that with blue hair, mink, and jewels, I'm beginning to look exactly like my grandmother in the mid-Fifties.) Wait. Let's rethink this. Note: The only component of the entire look that I want to keep is the very cute Wal-Mart haircut. Believe me, I can't believe it either.
JOSH GABRIEL LOVES YOU For all the readers who wrote in about Seabrook Jones' photo in last week's column (of an array of local and international DJs), I have a special giveaway: one free ticket to the Josh Gabriel show at Republic Live Sunday, Jan. 24, for the first five people who e-mail their first and last names and the name of Josh's record label to [email protected]. Winners will receive notification by Wednesday, Jan. 20.
