The Luv Doc

Call me bitchy if you want. Just do it from a distance.

Mostly unfettered by the haze of inebriation

Make a pot of coffee. You’re going to need to focus.

A place previously known only for its stray dogs and meth labs

You can’t expect starving people in buckle shoes to make smart choices

You know … like masturbation … only messier

That is a crime against humanity, so stop it

You don’t have a housecleaning problem

Or how to develop resting bitch face

Send him down to Camp Dry Hole and train him up yourself

And they say broadcast TV is dead

Let’s begin with what I know to be an immutable truth