Next time you feel like complaining about the Congress Avenue grackles, spare a thought for the children of Seele Elementary School in New Braunfels. Apparently they’re being eyed hungrily by an infestation of vultures. One hundred black vultures (a protected species under the Migratory Bird Act) have taken up residence in a sycamore tree in a nearby park, and the USDA is trying to work out how to get them to move. Apparently waving your arms and shouting “shoo” doesn’t work, so they may have to cull (i.e., shoot) some.

We at Chronic think this is a lost opportunity. Don’t get rid of them – make them part of the learning experience. Explaining to youthful academic underachievers that coragyps atratus has been known to eat young animals would be a quick biology lesson and a great motivator. Especially for the slow-moving ones.

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The Chronicle's first Culture Desk editor, Richard has reported on Austin's growing film production and appreciation scene for over a decade. A graduate of the universities of York, Stirling, and UT-Austin, a Rotten Tomatoes certified critic, and eight-time Best of Austin winner, he's currently at work on two books and a play.