Are you serious? The guy’s a dead-ringer for Parcells. I bet some of the slower Cowboys (I’m looking at you, T.O.) wouldn’t know the difference.
Advantages: You basically can’t lose. If the Cowboys win, great. If they lose, so what? Picture it: Oh, way to go, Redskins. I hope you’re real proud of yourselves, beating a team coached by a crazy deformed goonie. Big accomplishment. Maybe next week you can kick a dying puppy.
Drawbacks: I hear he’s got a real weakness for chocolate. Plus, you know, the whole crazy goonie thing.
Rating: 8/10

This article appears in February 2 • 2007.

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