Sometimes I get the visions, but it’s not what you think. No drugs are involved, and my visions require looking backward, not forward. Which brings us to an Aggie I once knew with a photographic memory. Nothing is more annoying than a sports fan who knows too much. There’s no arguing with a guy who has the facts, and an Aggie with a bushel of facts is a dangerous thing.
So going into Friday’s Aggie invasion of Memorial Stadium, here are my visions of facts:
– The Horns will win 52-14. This will not be a contest. Yes, the Texas secondary is more porous than a bag of chicken wings at a dog fight (whatever that means). But the Horns are pissed, and they aren’t a team that should have lost to lowly Kansas State. That was merely one of those games meant to slap some sense into teams that rely too heavily on luck and inspiration. The Horns had neither against KSU.
– Jevan Snead will see at least one quarter of action, and he’ll look good, good enough to put a little scare into Colt McCoy.
– Colt McCoy will not get the ball at the goal line. Texas coaches are dense, but not that dense. He will, however, run for 45 yards, get hit hard on the way out of bounds and pop back up to a collective Orangeblood sigh. Then he’ll pass for five touchdowns and cement his place in Horn lore.
– Dennis Franchione will be fired within the next two weeks. His costly conservative play will do him in. The College Station faithful don’t cotton to field goal tries that lead to one-point losses. Fran will accept an assistant coach gig in the NFL.
– The Ags will score first. Have you been paying attention this season?
– Mack Brown will start rehearsing his “respect for Boise State” speech.
– New A&M coach Ron Schroeder will coach his son Chad’s last game in the Alamo Bowl as the Aggies trounce Iowa 38-17. The new coach will quickly recruit 20 Westlake players as the rebuilding process gets into full swing.
– Notre Dame will beat Ohio State to claim the national title and Darrell Royal and Fred Akers will both seek attention for Cotton Bowl flashbacks.
– Longhorn faithful will find 2005 National Champion T-shirts on sale at Wal-Mart for $5 a dozen.
This article appears in November 17 • 2006.