A film begins with the script. It quickly becomes abundantly clear that the problems with The Marvels start with a lumpen, exposition-laden, charmless, and emotionally flat one … and it’s all downhill from there.
This is the 33rd film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but you better have kept up with the Disney+ series to have any clue what’s happening. WandaVision, in which Monica Rambeau (Parris) gained the ability to see and manipulate the entire electromagnetic spectrum: Ms. Marvel, in which fan-favorite teen hero Kamala Khan (Vellani) got both “solid light” powers and a mystical, mysterious bracelet; and Secret Invasion, which explained exactly what Nick Fury (Jackson) and the shape-shifting Skrulls have been up to for the past couple of decades.
What you won’t have seen is Carol Danvers aka Captain Marvel (Larson) destroying the Supreme Intelligence that controlled the fascistic Kree Empire, the resulting civil war that has wrecked their home world, Hala, and the rise of a new champion, Dar-Benn (Ashton), who blames Danvers for the environmental apocalypse facing her people. All of this happened after the original Captain Marvel, and none of which you will have seen because it happened offscreen, and is only shown here in a flashback. That’s indicative of the sloppy scripting by director Nia DaCosta (Candyman), and co-writers Megan McDonnell and Elissa Karasik (who did much better work for streaming with WandaVision and Loki, respectively). It’s a mirthless blur of callbacks, exposition dumps, and drearily talky emotional beats that aren’t backed up by any character development. Worse, The Marvels seems birthed from the same misguided instincts that let Taika Waititi drive the Thor films off the Bifrost Bridge with the deathly Thor: Love & Thunder. Let’s just say that I have never missed Fury as the moral but Machiavellian superspy more, and remain convinced that the version we have now is a Skrull who works open mics. At least he’s saved the indignity of the MCU’s second and by far the worst song-and-dance sequence, an interminable interstellar community theatre effort that’s a far cry from Captain America: The First Avenger‘s delightfully goshdarnit cheesy USO routine.
The three heroes all end up on the same mission due to ill-defined and narratively convenient entanglement of their superabilities that leads to them switching locations with each other whenever they use their powers. Well, sometimes, generally when it’s most inconvenient, or when they finally manage to work out how to use this to their combat advantage. That leads to a couple of entertaining fish-out-of-water gags, and whirling fight scenes, but seemingly allows the film to completely avoid any interrogation of the very clear idea of having characters be in each other’s shoes.
Maybe if the cosmic menace that’s threatening everyone Danvers loves felt a little more frightening, something could have been salvaged. Yet Ashton’s character notes seem to be “angry, juddering smile” and little more, making her one of the least impressive MCU villains and a massive step down from the last Kree menace, Lee Pace’s stoic zealot, Ronan the Accuser. Worse, the Marvels themselves have any potential chemistry drowned like an Atlantean with blocked gills. All the giddy charm of the Ms. Marvel version of Kamala Khan is lost in a torrent of fannish shrieks, while the demand that the audience feel empathy for grown adult Monica Rambeau who’s still pouting that Auntie Carol never came back (Auntie Carol, who was literally off saving the cosmos) is wearisome. As for Captain Marvel herself, the script forgets the conflicted nature and battle experience of the mightiest Avenger. The Marvels are all portrayed as equals in maturity and combat skills, when maybe this would be more interesting if Carol just once remembered that she’s dragging a starstruck child into a war zone. If you’re worried that such thoughts will distract you from the action, do not fear: Some of the dirt-worst CG in MCU history is seemingly seconds away to keep your eyes glued to the screen.
Lower, lesser, slower, baby.
This article appears in November 10 • 2023.