Splice the mainbrace! Hoist the topsail! Table that amendment!
It doesn’t take much to set state reps off, it seems. Rep. Rene Oliveira, D-Brownsville, was at the front mic in the House for Senate Bill 1495, a very serious bill about the very serious issue of motor fuel tax fraud. Unfortunately, he was wearing an eye patch, after sustaining a quite serious injury. So he looked like a pirate (actually, the famous Oliveira goatee really sealed the deal.)
“Avast, me hearties,” roared Rep. Jim Keffer, R-Eastland, just before he started giggling. Oliveira, in a fit of fake and good-natured pique, tossed his papers in the air.
So how did the leader of the House tackle this moment of silliness on the floor? “All those in favor, say, ‘Argh!'” said Speaker Joe Straus.
Oliveira, later seen with a picture of a parrot on his lapel, said he relishes the attention the eyepatch attracts. He admitted, “Several women have told me that it’s quite sexy, so I may just keep it.”
The bill passed with a comfortable 136-0 vote. At this point, Legeland is not advised whether the legislature was given a glass of celebratory grog for the bills passage, or whether it came out of their daily ration. Argh.
This article appears in May 1 • 2009.
