We’re drinking a lot of coffee lately, maybe even more than in the Before Times. Making it ourselves, with those ethically sourced beans bought for curbside pickup at our favorite roastery, or ordering it to be delivered from local cafes that are still doing the cappuccinos and lattes and so on like they oughta be done: by professional baristas.
All those struggling businesses predicated on Coffea arabica, trying to survive. But what about … tea?
Got an email from a local purveyor the other day. Zhi Tea, that popular leafmonger and steepaporium, which was just getting its elegant new digs in Springdale General up and running when all the coronavirus-thwarting measures locked into place and sent everything into a downward economic spiral.
Got an email telling us how Zhi’s usual corporate customers had so many fewer customers of their own that wholesale orders had become scarcer than a thylacine. And that, to compensate, Zhi was now selling their one-pound and five-pound bags of tea – black tea, green tea, oolong tea, and so on in leafy profusion – direct to the public at wholesale prices.
That’s you and me, citizen: The public. Who, if we can afford tea at all during this situation, we can afford it even better at a solid 30% off.
But: That was only for last week, sad to relate: It was, you know, a fleeting sort of deal.
But: The sale was so successful, and the good people at Zhi want to keep the momentum of their business going – the tea must flow! as Muad’Dib might’ve said – so they’ve extended the deal through Thursday, May 7th.
Yeah: That’s tomorrow. Those wholesale prices are good until midnight tomorrow.
Click here to get on it, and know that the prices look unchanged at first … but the discount is reflected as soon as the booty’s in your cart.
Okay, so we’ve just said “booty” in the pirate sense – like we’re Edward Teach or whatever. And we’ve referenced both Star Trek and Dune in this same post. You think that’s something? Feh, says Zhi Tea. Hold my beer-tea, says Zhi Tea. Or at least we imagine Zhi honcho Dr. Oolong saying that, as he personally hawks this Wholesale Prices deal via video in the adorably goofy-ass style of Crazy Eddie.
Yeah, after that? We’re gonna need us a strong cup of tea.
This article appears in May 1 • 2020.