Yeah, we’re all about the hot sauce here in Texas, aren’t we?
Hell, for 29 years the Austin Chronicle has held an annual Hot Sauce Festival that draws thousands of visitors, and even the worst of last year’s COVID-19 situation only drove it, still virtually crowded, online.
But then, everybody is all about the hot sauce everywhere, right?
And this is a big planet, with a lot of different food cultures to it, a lot of different native ingredients, so …
… so when Virginia chef Brandon Clark was challenged by a buddy to create a hot sauce that used the ingredients of Kerala, India – his friend’s home region …Clark’s results were so deliciously impressive that he had to continue his experiments, using peppers and spices from Southeast Asia and the U.S. and all points between.
This led, as in all happy food-a-preneurial stories, to success as a business, with the chef’s new Clark + Hopkins company racking up the culinary awards: A 2019 Sofi award for their Assam sauce, inspired by the flavors of Northeastern India, and a Scovie award for their Chesapeake Bloody Mary in the same year. And, just last year, a Sofi Gold for Best Hot Sauce for their Laos sauce.
[Note: Did somebody say … Laos?]
And now, of course, chef Clark and his business partner Don Hopkins want everyone to try their tasty, tongue-tingling wares, to try as many different kinds of them as possible, and to do so conveniently. So they’ve got this customizable World Box set that they’re offering, and they’re sending samples of it to the media.
[Note: That’s us, we’re the media.]
But, you know, this part of the media, the one who’s narrating right now? That’s Brenner, your food lieutenant … who’s not exactly the world’s biggest hot sauce aficionado (although he does offer an arch huzzah on the topic now and again).
Luckily, though, we know a guy who’s totally into hot sauce. We know a guy who’s also the man who wrangled the gig poster designs for Metallica’s last world tour and who creates stunning images for NASA and Marvel and Spoke Art and his own Nakatomi Inc. and so on. We know Austin’s Tim Doyle, that is – and, after only a little friendly arm-twisting, he agreed to be the guinea pig for this Clark + Hopkins World Box tasting.
“Dude,” Doyle told us. “First off, I’m not a fucking guinea pig, okay?”
But then, after noting that the Clark + Hopkins packaging was excellent – “really made to protect the bottles during whatever shipment misfortune may befall them” – the artist got down to serious business with these sauces, and here’s what he said:
“I sampled each sauce on a chip, in no particular order, and here’s my thoughts. This world tour of heat reminded me of walking around EPCOT during their food festival, getting blasted on different types of booze from around the planet while eating local interpretations of far-flung cuisine.
“Many of these Clark + Hopkins sauces are more suited for mixing into dishes than straight-up on a chip, but I dived in head-first like some maniac – with a bit of cheddar on hand in case of emergency.
“The Texas salsa is about what you’d expect: Nothing to lose your mind over, but a solid, flavorful salsa.
“The Assam sauce doesn’t sit on a chip so well: It’s really thin, but it packs a punch. Ghost pepper warning! Tread carefully. I loved the flavor, and wondered if – as suggested on the bottle – if it’d make an amazing curry when mixed with coconut milk.
“The Laos is a subtler, tangy flavor in comparison. I would love it on a pad thai dish, for sure.
“The Virginia sauce is a smoky, mild one that may sit better with people who aren’t looking to melt their face, but who still want a deep and lingering taste.
“The Chesapeake Bay, like the other American sauces, is safer for unpracticed palates, while still holding surprises within. Would work well on some oysters. This is making me hungrier.
“Kerala, like the other Indian sauce, Assam … it reminds me of some of my favorite Indian dishes. But, unlike Assam, the Kerala will leave your face unmelted. The kaffir lime and ginger make it quite refreshing.
“Quintana Roo is a light and sweet salsa made with a mix of fruits from the Yucatan. Screams to be poured over some taco truck pastor.
“Ethiopia is my solid favorite of the bunch, and it’s also the most unexpected. The cardamom gives it a distinct and unique flavor that I don’t normally encounter in my usual dining.
”The Oaxaca was, as expected, a thick and rich mole with a reasonable amount of heat and a delightfully unreasonable amount of flavor.”
Ah, thank you, Mr. Doyle – we couldn’t have put it better ourselves.
This article appears in February 5 • 2021.