If you’re going to amble along the hike and bike trail playing Sudoku on your iPhone, getting in the way of people who are actually trying to exercise, you might as well be wearing a Mr. T t-shirt and some spandex suction (OK, compression) shorts.
It puts everybody on notice that you are not only a fan of spectacularly shitty eighties television, but that you’re also willing to expose complete strangers to a relief map of your mons pubis. In other words, like the Honey Badger, you just don’t give a shit.
Well, actually that hat shows that this woman actually does care – maybe a bit too much about getting skin cancer or perhaps having a grackle shit on her head. There are worse things in life than having a grackle shit on your head. For instance, you could have an elephant shit on your head. That would be much worse. So would a transvestite hooker. Of course, buying a hooker assumes you have already negotiated in advance to be crapped on, so you might be on the other side of the fence on that.
It also appears that this woman might be carrying a rape whistle and a can of mace. If so, it’s probably best you don’t interrupt that game of Sudoku. Yeah, like that Mr. T shirt wasn’t warning enough.
Luvdoc Fashion Index: 7.0 (3 point credit for annoying the shit out of the fitness nuts on the hike and bike trail)
This article appears in July 20 • 2012.
