This guy’s mom probably just texted him to get his bangs cut because he has such pretty eyes. Moms are like that – always up in your grill about putting your best face forward.
Really, your mom’s probably right, but if you stopped slouching and acting all sullen and wearing black ankle socks (shouldn’t those come with garters?) with black sneakers and a frumpy white polo shirt, you might start actually getting laid. You might even have to quit your WOW gamer group. That sounds like a lot of trouble to me.
Text to mom: “You’re not the boss of me! I can wear my hair however I want! P.S. – Would you throw my other pair of ridiculously long shorts in the washer?” I’m going to my gamer group tonight and I don’t want them to make fun of the 6 inches of tan between the bottom of my kneecaps and the tops of my garter socks. Gamers can be so cruel.
Yes they can, can’t they? So can random people online who troll through Google streetview looking for fresh fashion victims. It’s enough to make you not want to go outside. Sometimes when you’re really busy flame texting your mom you don’t even notice the Google camera car passing by a few feet away and you become a (sort of) online celebrity! Then again, this guy may actually be a celebrity. He does look a lot like Gibby Haynes … or maybe Dave Grohl?
LuvDoc Fashion Index: 6.5 (1.5 point credit for extra long Beiber bangs)
This article appears in July 20 • 2012.
