The Luv Doc

A rate that rivals even the most impressively war-torn third world countries

The Luv Doc thinks this reader might have a malfunctioning amygdala

A message from one of Bill Gates’ roughly 1.18 billion involuntary stenographers

Let’s pray there’s a giant, flaming asteroid hurtling toward earth that will put an end to this nonsense

Just because you enjoy a certain sexual activity doesn’t automatically qualify you for a whole new orientation

Saying someone lives in Houston is irresponsibly nonspecific

Insane pets are insanely expensive

Using a special occasion to even mildly guilt your friends into helping you fund your travel fantasies is a bit gauche

No one wants to be the Michael Jordan of the cash register

So much more than crazy, lust-fueled, Saturday night monkey sex followed by midmorning migas, mimosas, and a luxurious afternoon nap

More of the outlandish factual assertions, needlessly hyperbolic language, and gratuitous profanity that undermines true, legitimate journalism

Every summer day under 100 degrees means that a thousand enthusiastic well-meaning folks will move to Austin