OK, so you’ve got a group of Democratic politicians running for president in a room (no this isn’t a dirty joke, mom, I told you to stop reading this blog! Give me some privacy! Gahd!), and you ask them: What is your position on civil union between same-sex partners?
So…
Who do you think responded with this gem? “I believe that all couples in committed, long-term relationships should have the same rights, benefits, and responsibilities, whether they are straight couples or same-sex couples. I support civil unions to guarantee gay and lesbian couples the same rights as straight couples, including inheritance rights, hospital visitation rights, equal pension and health care benefits, and all of the 1,100 other legal protections government affords married couples. I also support the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act provision that prevents the federal government from recognizing same-sex relationships.”
Or how about this one? “I believe gay and lesbian couples should have the same rights and responsibilities as all Americans, and I believe that civil unions are the best way to achieve this goal. As President, I will work to ensure that all Americans in committed relationships have equal benefits.”
Or this? “I am a strong supporter of civil unions. All Americans should have equal rights regardless of their age, income, or sexual orientation. I wish every American, when considering these issues, would think about this as a personal matter affecting their own family. Every American should be able to have the jobs of their choice, build homes, and take care of the people they love.”
Or this? “I support civil unions between same sex partners that provide full marriage rights. There should be no discrimination in benefits or rights.”
Most importantly, which candidate has the succinctness of a first-grade essay? “I support civil unions.”
Well now, you too can find out by taking the Washington Post‘s “Choose Your Candidate” in handy Republican and Democrat editions. So now, instead of reading up on the issues, you can find out who you should vote for Cosmo quiz style!
Uuuuuum. The answer is B? Actually the answers are: John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, Chris Dodd, Bill Richardson, and Barack Obama.
At the end of the Washie P‘s quiz I found out that I have a secret place in my heart for Governor Bill Richardson’s policies. Although that “maricon” thing is not cool.
Oh and on the Republican quiz? I fell to Giuliani (shudders) There’s no place like home… There’s no place like home… There’s no place like homo.
This article appears in November 30 • 2007.