Are you listening, Santa? I want, I want, I want…
…that DeWalt Cordless Circular Saw (around $240). I promise I won’t be
fooled by its diminutive size and cordless mobility. I promise I will use it
for peaceful purposes.
…that Stanley 48″ Brass Bound Level (about $30). For years, Richard and I
worked with a level so caked with cement and goo that we couldn’t see the
bubbles. We would just hold it up to boards, giggle, shrug our shoulders and
move on, but I soon realized the slightest slant or slope was magnified to the
100th power at every stage of a project. I got so tired of cutting trim into
tightly tapered triangles in an attempt to disguise our wacky framing that I
bought a cheap level and used it when Richard wasn’t looking. Now, that I’m on
the level, I’d like some bubbles with style.
…those Phillips “Pastels” light bulbs ($3 for two). Like Blanche Dubois in
A Streetcar Named Desire, “Ah don’t wont realism; Ah wont maaagic.” If
I’m bathed gently in the peach or pink glow from these enticing bulbs, can I
forget about the paint in my hair and the caulk under my fingernails? Can I
pretend, at least until sunrise, that I’m young again?
…that DeWalt 5″ Heavy Duty, Random Orbit Sander ($70-$80). If I can’t fake
youth, at least let me be the meanest sander in town. This tool, this is all I
need to bare the beauty of the hardwood, polishing it with 600-grit sandpaper
until it shines like a mirror and reflects my self-satisfied grin.
…that cool Ryobi Detail Carver Kit (about $60). I’m certain that an electric
wood chisel with “two speeds to carve aggressively or with pinpoint control”
will take me places I’ve never been. Of course, over the years I’ve expected
that kind of personal transformation from the B&W darkroom equipment and
the slide-to-Polaroid printer and the telescope and the Bernina sewing machine
which now gather dust like museum displays.
…that Deep Scanning Electronic Stud Sensor ($20). Although I located my one
and only stud 14 years ago, I have a few friends (that would be you, Spike)
that I’d like to loan it to.
..the questions, comments, and attention I crave from my reader(s?).
E-mail at Suzebe@aol.com or PO Box 49066, Austin, TX 78765.
This article appears in December 15 • 1995 and December 15 • 1995 (Cover).