Why do we love sports? After all, for all the joy sports may bring us, they also have a tendency to exacerbate some of our worst personality traits: superstitious compulsions, desperate need to control all things we cannot, and — worst of all — our annoying self-righteousness.
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Like a lot of sportsaholics, I’m not really the kind of person you’d want to meet in a dark sports bar. It has nothing to do with sloppy drinking habits, but rather a supposition that sports loyalties — who you root for and why — say as much about your character as who you voted for in 1988 or the way you interact with puppies. I know, it’s not fair. My guess is a large number of you stumble into your sports fandom blindly, without much thought to the political repercussions. Maybe it’s like your religion; your grandparents loved the Yankees and your parents were Yankee fans, and so you love the Yanks. I’ll give you that. Reluctantly. But “I love Notre Dame; they’re on TV every week … ” just won’t work here. And I won’t even start on the Cowboys and that whole “America’s Team” thing.
But as do all good sports fans, I believe in redemption. You still have a chance to see the light, to end your days as a bandwagon jumper (All of you who dumped your Bulls gear at Goodwill in April and have since outfitted yourself in Spurs stuff, listen up: I’m talking to you) and begin to make thoughtful choices about your sports fandom. To that end, here are three little guidelines to help you become a better sports fan.
� Scrappy Underdog or Perennial Powerhouse? Underdog. Everyone claims they love the little guy, but when it comes right down to it most folks would rather be dancing in the streets than crying in their beer. It takes some rectitude (or masochism, a trait so unfairly disparaged these days) to root for the little guy. But on that priceless occasion when the good guy wins, it’s so much more fulfilling. Besides, heartbreak builds character.
� Public School Team vs. Private School Team? Public. Put it this way: When you’re rich and privileged, you simply do not need a good football program too. For all of you still pondering the eternal question: “UNC or Duke?” you now have an answer. (Note: There is an exception to this one, called “The John Thompson Waiver,” named after the legendary Georgetown University basketball coach.)
� Don’t ever listen to some high-falutin’ editor who tries to find consistent, deeper meaning in a collection of sports articles. In other words, take our sports section for what it is — a look at the weird and wonderful sides of the games people play. Sports is life, quite simply, in all its many forms. Ugly and unjust one minute, poetic and exhilarating the next. But you don’t need the Chronicle to tell you that. —Lisa Tozzi
This article appears in July 2 • 1999 and July 2 • 1999 (Cover).