Okay, Suzy,
You asked for it.
We have a cherry dining table that has a protective polyurethane coating on
it. Sometimes the coating gets a bit scratched and we polish with Pledge, as
advised by the store. The scratches disappear, but a film is left that won’t go
into the wood (obviously) and if you put mats, etc., on the table they leave a
mark in the film, so that the table looks like a weird map. The store has no
suggestions. How about you?
If you put me in your column, please don’t print my full name – this is such an embarrassingly bourgeois question! – Barbara
Dear Barbara,
I kind of like the image of ghostly maps appearing on the table top, say, in
the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve hosted a few tortured gatherings that
could have used that kind of stimulus. That or a 55-gallon drum of nitrous
oxide.
On Thanksgiving, the dining room table takes center stage in many homes. It’s
the time of year to share a frantic afternoon checking the turkey button and
eating too much food with people you have nothing in common with except
ancestry and marital ties, while the bowl games on television blare endlessly
in the background. Blue-hairdo in-laws will be scrutinizing your polish as
closely as your stuffing. For this reason, I didn’t consider your question
bourgeois or frivolous at all. Then I called Peter Kennedy at Fine Lumber and
Plywood for his expert opinion and things were put in perspective. They were in
the middle of “remodeling” after a fire completely destroyed their buildings
two months ago. The blaze, believed to have started from a cigarette tossed in
the grass outside their warehouse in the early evening, consumed 1.1 million
dollars of red oak, lignumvita, walnut, cherry, zebra wood, and more. Yet Peter
was still gracious enough to answer my questions.
His first recommendation was blunt and clear: Quit using Pledge. It contains
silicon, which Peter pegs as “the biggest enemy to furniture finish.” It
softens the finish and makes it almost impossible to refinish the piece. Peter
suggested you clean the table with lemon oil and then coat it with a good
quality paste wax. Then buff, buff, buff. If you need to dust, use a slightly
damp cloth. When the finish dulls, rebuff. But don’t touch that Pledge. If your
Thanksgiving guests criticize the scratches or the maps on your table, hand ’em
a five-dollar gift certificate to Luby’s and point them towards the door.
Don’t stuff the turkey! Stuff my mailboxes at: Suzebe@aol.com or PO
Box 49066, Austin, TX 78765.
This article appears in November 24 • 1995 and November 24 • 1995 (Cover).