In
the world of busi-
ness, time is money. And while instant communications such as
e-mail,
cellular phones, and faxes can increase productivity, the unfortunate side
effect is stress, caused by real or perceived lack of time. Dr. Hunter Lawyer
is executive director of the widely regarded Tock Institute for Time Analysis.
Aided by his team of semi-professional time management experts (they play every
Monday night), the doctor answered the following 10 questions in a recent
on-line forum for Busy Corporate Types, entitled “Doing Time From 9 to 5”
[www.abyss.com].
n
Everbody else around this company seems so efficient, but not me. I’m so
disorganized. I can tell my boss is concerned, but I have too much work to do
to change my image for her. What should I do? — buried@cubicle.com Doctor Lawyer responds: Start carrying around a “to do” list — nothing tells
others “I’ve got it all together here” as effectively. Since no one actually
reads the “to do” lists of others, don’t be caught anywhere without yours. Be
sure you’re constantly adding items to the list, crossing items out smartly, or
simply appearing as if you are. Another option is to consider buying one of
those “planners.” You know the kind: leatherbound, overpriced, designed by
Mormons (you can expense it). I would advise against using it, though. Someone
else will inevitably have a planner that looks like yours, which could be
opened and read by mistake. If your “to do” entries dating back several months
are inadvertently read by a co-worker, then you’re really hosed.
My supervisor is considering eliminating off-site lunches. She says we can
all use the extra time to work if we “brown-bag” it. This seems drastic to me.
Don’t you agree? — lunch@desk.com Doctor Lawyer responds: Appalling what managers will resort to. Don’t let
policy deter you; go out anyway. Before my colleagues and I split off from
Tick, our sister organization, we commissioned a joint study [“Yes, I’ll Have
Another,” �1995, Tock & Tick] which proved that longer
lunches can be an outstanding creativity source (e.g., use your lunch hours to
organize after-work shopping and even plan vacations). Perhaps you’d like to
listen to the findings of the 66-page study (call 1-900-The-Doc1; you will be
charged $1.99 per minute).
They laid off a bunch of people under me, and now I’m doing triple the work
I used to. How can I recoup lost time so I can get this stuff done? — overworked@underpaid.com Doctor Lawyer responds: Delegate resourcefully. Take a few minutes each hour
to review what’s been asked of you. Can you get someone else to do it? Support
staff are usually excellent resources for such work, and are just grateful not
to have been canned during the last down-sizing. Try dropping your secretary
verbal hints like, “That’s odd; I heard your name being bandied about while I
was walking past Human Resources earlier,” or “We wouldn’t want anyone to know
what you’re really smoking on your break, would we?” These can be time-saving
reinforcers. If all else fails, try: “I’ll buy you lunch.” You needn’t actually
buy the person lunch, of course.
The pressure to stay late around here is horrible. Even though I get my
work done and try to leave every night around 6:15, I still get rude stares
from everybody as I walk to the door. Can you help? — wadrulookin@com Doctor Lawyer responds: Office politicos who show their faces “after hours”
are in denial that someday their hearts will stop beating. Never work late. I
make available a pamphlet on this subject, yours by sending a check or money
order for $18 payable to Doctor Lawyer, Inc. (add $4.50 for postage and
handling) to: “Work Late, Die Anyway,” PO Box 71, Cayman Islands. To counteract
disapproving glances, engage a single on-looker in a “staring war” until he or
she breaks it off. Once this occurs, pump your arms vigorously above your head
and yell, “Yeah, baby! Made you stop!,” and then simply repeat the process as
you move down the hallway toward the exit.
Work is everything to me. But I am constantly way behind. I don’t know how
much more of this I can take. When I lack self-confidence I usually do
something rash. God help me. — leeharvey@usps.com Doctor Lawyer responds: You can “take” a lot more if you perfect the
Ten-Minute Shave, as in, shaving 10 minutes off your day. For example, arrive
at work at 9:05am; leave for home at 4:55pm. Nobody actually does any work
until after 9:05am, anyway. And in the afternoons? Forget it brother. Past
3:30pm, it’s pretty much a free-for-all. As for coping, take up a hobby such as
an obscure religion, or riflery.
Doctor, my boss says if I don’t meet deadlines more consistently, I’m
history. I’ve tried, but I still miss them often. Is there an easy solution? I
can’t stand the shouting much longer. Thanks. — dollarshort@daylate.com Doctor Lawyer responds: Wait until the last minute. Oftentimes, wasteful
managers assign projects too far in advance. I can think of no better
motivating time-saver than executing a directive mere minutes before it is due.
Using this method, you’ll find you can focus much more clearly on assignments.
For more information send check or money order for $10 (plus $4.50 postage and
handling) to “Nobody Died, Right?”, PO Box 72, Cayman Islands. As for the
shouting, I have found an effective countermeasure: Try pressing your palms
firmly against your ears and singing “Torn Between Two Lovers,” by Mary
McGregor, at the top of your lungs.
Doc, this is embarrassing. I have maybe the world’s tiniest bladder. My
salary is based purely on phone commission sales, and oftentimes I cannot leave
my desk for hours on end. How can I get some relief yet hang on to my upward
mobility? — mrtinkler@depends.com Doctor Lawyer responds: A change of perspective is in order here. You need to
visit the “head” more often — two or even three times an hour. Adhere to this
little time-squeezer and you’ll run into the CEO more frequently. Getting to
know the “Big Guy” in this most macho of casual situations will save time in
your eventual promotion. Know a lot of really sick jokes for these impromptu
get-togethers. (Note: If the CEO is a woman, skip to the next-highest ranking
male in the company. If the CEO is a Christian — I mean the types who have
that fish thing on their rear bumper — talk a lot about your family, or Rush
Limbaugh.) I can recommend a great joke list, yours by sending $20 (cash only,
please) to: “Open Fly, Open Mike,” PO Box 73, Cayman Islands.
My short-term memory is shot. I can lose hours, or even whole days at a
time. I’d take notes, but I can no longer read my own writing. Plus I just got
my head operated on again. What should I do? — shaky@best.com Doctor Lawyer responds: A real time- and memory-saver would be to go out and
buy an audio micro-cassette recorder, the kind small enough to fit in a jacket
pocket or beneath a stack of papers (you can expense it). With it you can
preserve your boss’s personal comments — sensitive information having direct,
time-slashing impact on both of your futures. Remember: Eat plenty of broccoli
and a nice piece of fish, and keep lots of fresh batteries handy.
The punk who runs this joint is all over me to use “e-mail” more often to
increase my “output.” The last thing I need is for some runny-nose to know that
I don’t get any of this fancy, new-fangled rigamarole. Can you help a guy out?
–mastadon@pleio-cene.com
Doctor Lawyer responds: If you want to get the skinny on e-mail and see
whether the boss is wise to you, have a little meeting with the company M.I.S.
guy. Take this guy out for a highball and everything’ll be jake. Management
Information is a fancy title that really means “employee who has access to
everyone’s e-mail.” Get him in his cups, and he’ll start singing like Beverly
Sills. (If he’s not a drinker, he’ll probably respond to an offer of science
fiction memorabilia. Send check or money order in the amount of $39.95 [add
$8.75 postage and handling] to “Jean-Luc Picard”, PO Box 74, Cayman Islands.)
Doctor: I have been at the same company now for nine years and still
haven’t made vice president. Any advice on accelerating my promotion? — asleep@wheel.com Doctor Lawyer responds: Afraid I can’t help you there. The time-efficient way
of moving up the corporate ladder is simply to wait until your supervisor
leaves, dies or gets promoted. I’m surprised you didn’t know this already. n Chronicle contributor Stuart Wade is co-author of Drop Us A Line, Sucker!,
along with his brother James, and is no fan of Mary McGregor.
This article appears in September 27 • 1996 and September 27 • 1996 (Cover).