If you haven’t read your fill of articles about the evils of talk radio during the last month, pick up the
May/June issue of Mother Jones. Austin’s own Molly Ivins pens the cover
story for this one – her “Bustin’ Rush” essay attacks the mean-spiritedness and intentionally
misdirected anger of the top voice on the airwaves today. Although the piece is
a scant 18 paragraphs in length, the magazine includes a companion report by
documentary filmmaker Stephen Talbot and a sidebar exposing a small number of
Limbaugh’s various factual inaccuracies as reported by the liberal media
watchdog group Fairness & Accuracy in Reporting. Throw in several
appropriately evil illustrations and the result is a worthy and insightful
six-page spread.
In the essay she contributes for the issue, Ivins asserts that Limbaugh’s
twisted brand of humor has completely perverted the role of satire in our
society: “It has historically been the weapon of powerless people aimed at the
powerful. (But) when you use satire against powerless people it is not only
cruel, it’s profoundly vulgar. It is like kicking a cripple.” Her point is a
good one and it’s also the one you expect her to make – there’s hardly a columnist in this country with more practical experience in
satirical humor than she. In fact, letting Ivins and her award-winning opinions
loose against Limbaugh finally matches this bully with someone not intimidated
by his smooth dialogue and macho swagger.
Too bad more media heavyweights like Ivins aren’t motivated to risk their
reputations and bring to light the utter stupidity of the current wave of
right-wing pundits. Sure, in the wake of the Oklahoma City tragedy there’s been
a ton of arm-waving against the “climate of hate” these folks have helped
foster in this country. Still, had a few more of the nation’s leading writers
matched their insights against these fast-talking quasi-journalists a few years
ago, this genre might never have gained the cult-like following it has amassed
today. What follows is a list of some of these more influential
neo-conservative columnists and radio hosts as well as the writer who might
best expose his or her liabilities.
“G. Gordon Liddy: I’ll Do Anything for Ratings.” It will take someone with a
similar knack for cheap publicity stunts to put together the definitive Liddy
profile. Hmm. Let’s give the assignment to Montel Williams, another ex-military
man who has since achieved somewhat of a following in the anything-goes
shock/talk format.
“Twelve Steps to the Right of Center – the Paul Pryor Story.” In the past few years, Austin’s Larry Wright has covered
everything from Manuel Noriega to imagined childhood trauma. Somewhere between
these two extremes falls the saga of KLBJ-AM’s Paul Pryor, the former liberal
who returned as a Limbaugh-soundalike conservative after a prolonged bout with
substance abuse. We eagerly await the results of Wright’s probings.
“Adam `The Prodigal Son’ Bellow.” Bellow is editorial director of the Free
Press, the publishing company which specializes in controversial titles such as
The Bell Curve. His dad, Saul, the Nobel Prize-winning novelist, may be
the only one who can accurately explain the rationale behind why anyone would
print such drek.
“Oliver North: Reflections of a Freedom Fighter.” Some soldiers have never
gotten past the lessons they learned in the jungles of Southeast Asia. Others
came home, exorcised their demons, and have since become productive members of
society. Oliver Stone is possibly the only one who can truly appreciate why
North, a recent entry into the talk radio derby, remains mired in the Vietnam
myth.
“Mary Matalin: Love, War, and Running for President.” In recent months,
Matalin also made the move from big-time political consultant to prime-time,
talk-television host. But does she deserve more ink? For better or for worse,
she and hubby James Carville have already completed a testimony to their
lifestyle.
“Inside Pitch: The George Will Story.” Will is alternately the fatherly,
self-satisfied conscience of the GOP and the smug, intellectual voice of
major-league baseball. Either way, his preppy, bow-tied, bespectacled persona
has become pretty much of a colossal bore. If there’s anyone in this country
who can possibly make him interesting, it’s Roger Angell, the New
Yorker‘s superb sportswriter.
“Ken Hamblin: Avenging Angel.” Michael Jordan has come back to the NBA. Also
returning from the rerun pile is Mars Blackman, Spike Lee’s playful alter ego
and the perfect character to interview Hamblin, the Colorado-based,
African-American version of Limbaugh. On second thought, this one’s already
been done also. Fellow filmmaker John Singleton covered the self-proclaimed
“Black Avenger” last December for the New York Times magazine.
“Ross Perot: Wait a Minute.” Jerry Brown, who like Perot has struggled as a
radio talk show host, is the logical choice for putting together this essay.
The poster boy for capitalism as profiled by the country’s best excuse for a
socialist candidate: It should make for some exciting reading.
“The Real David Brock.” His breakthrough work was an attack on the
credibility
of Anita Hill, a book that once again proved you don’t have to check facts to
achieve bestseller status. I say you’ve got to give her a chance at payback.
“John Podhoretz: No Static Here.” Like Adam Bellow, Podhoretz has a bit of a
name to live up to (his father Norman is the editor of the right-wing journal
Commentary). For the most part, he has met this daunting challenge,
continuing the family’s neo-conservative views through his position as
television critic for the New York Post. Get film reviewer Roger Ebert
to rate his performance.
“Jack Chambers: Closer to the Light.” His message of strait-laced,
God-fearing
morality got its start on the local airwaves, moved to the statewide print
media and eventually found a home on a nationally broadcast television show.
Have Chambers’ founding principles survived the increase in fame that has
accompanied this journey? Maybe no one can answer this question better than
Mark Weaver, who traveled much the same path in the mid-Eighties. Sure he’s a
cub reporter, but his inside experience probably gives him a fascinating
perspective on this ride.
“William F. Buckley – Still Firing Away.” Norman Mailer’s most recent work chronicles the life of
alleged Kennedy assassin Lee Harvey Oswald. Still, a writer of his talent
should take on a subject that is still living and breathing. Next, let him
tackle Buckley, a man whose rifle is still active.
“Pat Robertson: The Path of Righteousness.” Conservative Christian activist
Robertson has quietly amassed a tidy media empire. For an enlightening portrait
of this mogul and his various holdings, assign the story to another Southern
preacher-turned-political-demagogue, Jesse Jackson.
“Phyllis Schlafly: The Eagle is Rising.” In conservative circles, Schlafly is
still one of the nation’s most influential women. Boston Globe op-ed
columnist Ellen Goodman, one of America’s best writers, is a great choice to
pen her bio.
“Newt Gingrich: He’s Much Funnier Than You Think.” He’s pals with the Power
Rangers. He doesn’t let things like major surgery interrupt him when its time
to end a relationship. Yes, he’s the nation’s preeminent guy-guy. So who else
to expose the often underappreciated humor of the Newt revolution than Dave
Barry, the nation’s most hilarious columnist and a longstanding member of the
dreaded liberal media elite?
“Sammy & Bob: We Hereby Chastise.” Gone but not forgotten is The
Polemicist, the feisty journal of local left-wing politics that lashed out
at the perceived sins of a host of both liberal and conservative transgressors.
In the paper’s absence, this burdensome task of judge and jury has been passed
to the desk of Allred and Cole, the popular morning team at KVET-AM. So who
better to evaluate their performance in this capacity than someone with a
wealth of experience in this role, the two former Polemicist editors,
Scott Henson and Tom Philpott?
“Cal Thomas, Jr.: Straight and Narrow.” Thomas is another right-wing
moralist
with a nasty habit of twisting facts in order to justify his arguments.
Austin’s Jim Hightower, himself a rising star in the talk radio business, would
do a wonderful job of profiling him and dispelling the weekly flow of
inaccurate information that flows from his column.
“P.J. O’Rourke: Fear and Loathing in Middle America.” Middle-aged gonzo
journalist of the Nineties as interpreted by middle-aged gonzo journalist of
the Seventies. This one is a no brainer. You’ve got to give it to Hunter S.
Thompson.
This article appears in May 19 • 1995 and May 19 • 1995 (Cover).