After arduous investigation, I managed to locate a few writers, at this
publication and others, who drink something stronger than Ovaltine. Here are
the Dewar’s profiles:
Robb Walsh,
food writer, cookbook author
Summer drink: Barbancourt 5 Star rum on the rocks
Winter drink: Old Bushmill’s on the rocks
Cross addictions: Cuban cigars and Jewish women
Hangover cures: Eggs poached in hot sauce
Where to drink (Austin): Louie’s 106 cigar room
Where to drink (elsewhere): Sidney’s Peace and Love Cafe, Jost Van Dyke,
British Virgin Islands
Advice for aspiring writers: Start each day with a good breakfast.
Advice for aspiring drinkers: End each night with a good breakfast.
Credo: Patriotism is the memory of foods eaten in childhood. — Lin Yu Tang
Bruce Sterling,
author and journalist
Summer drink: Bourbon
Winter drink: Slivovitz
Cross addictions: I beg your pardon?
Hangover cures: Migas, Gatorade
Where to drink (Austin): Homes of indulgent friends
Where to drink (elsewhere): Weird restaurant/bars in places like Milan, Moscow,
and Prague
Advice for aspiring writers: Alcohol has killed more writers than heroin ever
has or will.
Advice for aspiring drinkers: Before succumbing to alcoholism, consider burning
down your house. It’s quicker, cheaper, and easier to forgive.
Credo: Information wants to be free.
Margaret Moser,
editor/writer, house madam
of the Austin music scene
Summer drink: Dos Equis dark
Winter drink: Dos Equis dark
Cross addictions: Internet, The X-Files, Gummi bears
Hangover cures: Can’t remember if one works
Where to drink (Austin): Emo’s
Where to drink (elsewhere): The Corner Lounge, Carlyss, Louisiana
Advice for aspiring writers: Read Dorothy Parker.
Advice for aspiring drinkers: Read Dorothy Parker.
Credo: In one ear and out my mouth.
Lars Eighner, professional
homeless person (semi-retired)
Summer drink: Midori melon balls
Winter drink: Girl Scout Cookies (creme de menthe, creme de cacao, Bailey’s,
vodka to taste)
Cross addictions: Popping Vivarin and logging onto Fidonet
Hangover cures: Two Aleve with a sidecar (brandy margarita)
Where to drink (Austin): Oil Can Harry’s, under the 29th Street bridge at Shoal
Creek, men’s dressing room at Barton Springs
Where to drink (elsewhere): Anywhere but England; The Men’s Bar in Copenhagen
is good, but watch out for the Schnapps.
Advice for aspiring writers: Hold off until I’m dead.
Credo: What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about?
Michael McCambridge,
erstwhile film critic
Summer drink: Celis Pale Bock, Kendall-Jackson Chardonnay, or Dewar’s and
water
Winter drink: More Dewar’s, less water
Cross addictions: Magazines, box scores
Hangover cures: The pre-emptive night-before-the-morning-after pair of Extra
Strength Tylenol; hot tea and spring water
Where to drink (Austin): For a beer after work, The Dog and Duck; before or
after a night on the town, The Four Seasons Hotel
Where to drink (elsewhere): The Safe House, Milwaukee; Michael Forbes’ Grill,
Kansas City; the Crush Club, Los Angeles
Advice for aspiring drinkers: Beer, wine, cigars, and cinnamon schnapps do not
go well together.
Michael Corcoran,
pop music critic
Summer drink: Beer
Winter drink: Beer
Cross addictions: Watching ESPN even if it’s beach volleyball
Hangover cure: Mexican food with a lot of hot sauce; anything with a lot of
cheese
Where to drink (Austin): The Dog & Duck, The Headliners Club on top of the
Bank One building
Where to drink (elsewhere): Spec’s in San Francisco, Bucket o’ Suds in
Chicago
Advice for aspiring writers: Don’t be ashamed to use a thesaurus.
Advice for aspiring drinkers: Drink within walking distance of your home.
Credo: Just because you think you’re an asshole doesn’t mean you’re not one.
“Coach” Andy Cotton,
infamous sportswriter
Summer drink: Stoli on the rocks with lime Juice winter drink: Stoli and lime
juice, no rocks
Cross addictions: Taking pain pills and being utterly
charming
Hangover cures: Forty-eight hours
Where to drink (Austin): My kitchen
Where to drink (elsewhere): I never leave Austin.
Advice for aspiring writers: Get a Valium prescription.
Advice for aspiring
drinkers: Don’t puke in your Dad’s car.
Credo: Never ever ever let the
truth get in the way of a good story.
Jerri Kunz, designer, essayist
Summer drink: Anything frozen
Winter drink: Gin martini
Cross addictions: None
Hangover cures: Two tablespoons chlorophyll in hot water
Where to drink (Austin): My house
Where to drink (elsewhere): Les Trottoirs de Buenos Aires in Paris
Advice for aspiring writers: Don’t drink and write.
Advice for aspiring drinkers: Stay away from the cheap stuff.
Credo: Get over it.
Kinky Friedman, author
Summer drink: Outside Texas, pina colada. In Texas, a shot of Jack Daniels.
Winter drink: A shot of Jack Daniels, Dr. Pecker back.
Cross addictions: Formerly cross-addicted to everything on the planet until
Hank Williams fell out of my left nostril and told me to stop.
Hangover cure: Hanging
Where to drink (Austin): Driskill Hotel
Where to drink (elsewhere): Monkey’s Paw or the Corner Bistro, New York
Advice for aspiring writers: Stop before it’s too late.
Advice for aspiring drinkers: Find what you like and let it kill you.
Credo: If you’re driving, don’t forget your car.
Jim Shahin, columnist
Summer drink: Daiquiris (outdoors); martinis (indoors); bourbon, beer, and wine
(everywhere)
Winter drink: Same as above except no daiquiris, more wine and, for colds, hot
toddies.
Cross addictions: Rock & roll and barbecue.
Hangover cures: Enchiladas, or, if I’m not up to that, moaning on the couch all
day (and trying to coax my wife into bringing something greasy).
Where to drink (Austin): The Bitter End, outside at the Granite Cafe, the bar
at Jeffrey’s, Antone’s, and Lala’s Little Nugget.
Where to drink
(elsewhere): The Red Lion Pub in the Mayfair section of London, McSorley’s in
New York, the Real Bar in Barcelona, the veranda at the El Amir hotel
overlooking the Chouf mountains in Lebanon, any sidewalk cafe in Paris, any
neighborhood joint in Niagara Falls.
Advice for aspiring writers: Get a
thick skin.
Advice for aspiring drinkers: Stop talking when you start to slur your words.
Credo: I like to drive but I need direction. n
This article appears in October 25 • 1996 and October 25 • 1996 (Cover).