July 2, 2013. 38 photos.
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We found two willing mixologists to take our challenge to incorporate some pretty nasty ingredients in palatable cocktails: Cameron Cooper and Lindsey Reynolds, aka The Goodetime Gals. Fifteen secret ingredients, seven rounds, and five minutes per round. In the first three rounds, the women competed with each other, and in the remaining rounds, they collaborated. Rounds 6-7 included a lightning round in which they had their choice of four ingredients out of six and had to make two drinks. -
Our contenders rifle through the basket of mystery ingredients – appropriately marked with bilingual caution tape – for the first time. Since the treats were wrapped good and tight, our mixologists had no idea what was in store. -
Goodetime Gal mixologist Lindsey Reynolds scrutinizes and shakes the mystery ingredients like a kid on Christmas morning. -
The evening’s first of eight drink challenges is issued. What could it be? -
The gals get a lucky break. The first challenge should be a relatively easy warm-up: a jar of Reese’s Ham Glaze. -
Our crafty craft cocktailers get to crafting. This first challenge was set up as a competition. And right out of the gate, we see the gals leaning toward their stated preferences: Cameron goes the spicy route and Lindsey the sweet: “Oh my God! It’s so jell-ish! Yum! Yum! It’s going to taste like Christmas morning.””Are we allowed to taste them?” asks Cameron. “Yes,” replies Kate. “It’s just like Chopped… except you don’t win any prizes, and you aren’t getting paid.” -
The gals’ two drinks looked very similar, but couldn’t have hit the palate more differently. This is Cameron’s final product: Green Pepper Tabasco, ham glaze, muddled basil, bourbon, and more ham glaze, topped with Topo Chico and ginger beer. “It’s awful, I put too much Tabasco. My lips are on fire.” The panel of tasters, Kate, Nina, and Steph disagree and like the gingery bite. Lindsey’s drink was inspired by Christmas morning: ham glaze, maple syrup, really expensive bourbon, and citrus simple syrup, topped with ginger beer.“Sweet!” said taste tester Nina. “This is like the grandma,” Lindsey says of her own drink, “And this one,” she says of Cameron’s “is the crazy uncle.” -
The second challenge: pepperoncini and feta sandwich spread. “This looks like baby vomit. Actually, that smells kind of yummy. I would totally eat that on a cracker.” -
Lindsey begins with her lime-ginger-honey syrup. -
Cameron gives the first draft of her concoction the sniff test. “It looks like toilet water. It smells so gross.” -
The Goodetime Gals’ array of ingredients to counter our disgusting challenge items. -
At the end of each round, “Hands in the air! Present drinks!” -
The next challenge looms, a large and ominous bottle. -
Pedialyte! -
Immediately, each Goodetime Gal knows what she wants to create and gets crackin’. -
Lindsey’s Pedialyte challenge drink starts to take shape. “This is fun! This cocktail will not only hydrate you, it will hydrate you in two ways: By getting you very intoxicated, and by replenishing you by not giving you a hangover the next day.” -
Hands in the air! -
Next challenge, which begins the collaboration rounds: Yehuda brand Gefilte Fish! Cameron (“I’m a Jew!”) is excited. Lindsey is going to take some convincing. -
The ladies round up their arsenal and prepare for the Gefilte Fish challenge -
After starting with a healthy dose of the jarred fish brine, Cameron adds balsamic syrup. -
The rest of the concoction gets strained into the glass, according to Cameron: “A heavy hand of gefilte fish juice, vodka, balsamic syrup, grapefruit, and a dash of salt. “A Salty Fish!” -
Lindsey tops it off with a chunk of fish. “It’s OK, it can float,” says Cameron. “What is Gefilte?” asks Nina. “It’s fish mushed up into a lump,” says Cameron. “Chicken nuggets for Jews,” says Kate. -
“The Salty Fish,” the gals’ take on a gefilte Salty Dog is Kate’s favorite drink so far. “You might be on to something with this one.” Cameron concurs: “You guys, I think this is going to be the cool thing in Brooklyn in like, two years.” -
The next ingredient challenge throws the gals into an entirely different direction: generic mouthwash. -
They begin with high hopes, aiming toward either a Champipple or a chocolate Martini. -
But the end product doesn’t quite come out like they planned. On the bright side: “My teeth feel pretty clean,” says Lindsey. “My insides do, too.” -
“We can’t save this,” Cameron concludes. “This is gonna be a flop. We give up easily. I just want my gefilte back.” “It tastes like something familiar! Hold on…” says Kate. “It tastes like garbage.” -
The next two drinks make up the lightning round, where the gals dip into the grab bag of the remaining ingredients, pick and unwrap six, then choose four. They must then make two drinks combining two of the ingredients each. Lindsey goes for the gold and uses all three of the picks she unwrapped: beef gravy, lard, and Gerber chicken sticks. -
Meanwhile, Cameron whips up a frothy mix of strawberries, Pepto Bismol Max, and children’s liquid ibuprofen. “Oral suspension,” says cameraman John. “It’s hard to explain, but I can show you.” -
Hands in the air marks the end of the lightning round. -
“The Wasted Weiner” (or as sound engineer Sara dubs it, the “Whiskey Dick”). The name “Whiskey Dick” sticks. Recipe: maple syrup, salt, very expensive bourbon, balsamic simple syrup, gel from baby chicken fingers, lard, beef gravy, then garnished with a chicken finger. “It tastes like human flesh. I’m not joking,” insists Lindsey. -
“Aww, it’s adorable,” says Kate of the Pepto Bismol/Ibuprofen frosty. “And it might be a great way to get children to take their medicine…” -
“Or put them out for a long time,” says Cameron. -
Nina takes a swig of “Whiskey Dick” and can hardly contain her glee. -
The last round pretty much proves that we are bad bastards and probably going to hell. The gals were challenged to create a palatable cocktail from Wet brand strawberry-kiwi lube. They made a gorgeous-looking drink. Emphasis on “looking.” -
Kate examines the strawberry glop and concludes: “This tastes like Frankenberry… and gasoline.” -
The ladies bring back the “Whiskey Dick” to see how it stacks up next to their grand finale, “The Slippery Slope.” “Because it tastes like a stripper,” says Cameron. Lindsey elaborates: “This smells like regret. But the perfect way you’d want any evening to end: with lube.” -
Our fearless competitors survived the night and lived to see another day. Considering the disgusting hurdles we put in their path, the Goodetime Gals performed with aplomb, like champs. Any resemblance to actual cocktails purely coincidental. Many thanks to photographer John Leach, sound engineer Sara Rehani, and story assistants Jessi Cape and Nina Hernandez.