You’d think that with so many niche networks, there would be something for someone like me. “Women’s programming” in particular is everywhere, on broadcast television (most daytime talk) or on cable networks like Oxygen or Lifetime. However, the shows on the women’s networks in particular make some assumptions about women: that we have children (I don’t). That we want children (I don’t). We have or want a man for a partner (I do, but have friends who don’t). We’re obsessed with our weight (I’m obsessed with my skin), and that marriage is the natural end result of seeking and finding Mr. Right (don’t get me started). These preoccupations are as foreign to me as a five o’clock shadow. Yet, ain’t I a TV-watchin’, remote control-wieldin’ woman?
The one thing I’ve been able to find some common ground with is in women’s shows focusing on sexuality. Two have caught and kept my attention: Sunday Night Sex Show (Oxygen) and Berman & Berman: For Women Only (Discovery Health).
Hosted by Sue Johanson, a registered nurse and “authority on sexuality,” Sunday Night Sex Show began as a Canadian radio show in 1984 and moved to TV in 1996. Johanson’s “don’t take no crap” attitude is a refreshing departure from other poised TV personalities who have a healthy budget for hair, make-up, and wardrobe. Not so with the grandmotherly Johanson. She often hems and haws, which would be annoying except she’s also unintentionally funny. That, and her home perm and polyester pantsuits lend her an unconventional charm. She isn’t much on quoting experts, and suggestions to seek medical attention are curiously absent from her advice. For example, when a caller said she was in a loving relationship but never had an orgasm, Johanson’s response was: Think sexy thoughts. Take a long, warm bath, think more sexy thoughts, and maybe consider using tools from the “Pleasure Chest” (i.e., sex toys).
All plain-spoken advice, but not particularly new. However, I knew I had to watch Sunday Night Sex Show when I tuned in one night to see Johanson holding an enormous dildo, giving detailed (but not off-color) instructions to a caller who wanted to know how to perform oral sex. The caller’s husband had complained she didn’t do it right. The caller timidly thanked Johanson, then wanted to know what to do about her husband’s tendency to shove her head while pleasuring him. To this, Johanson looked fiercely into the camera.
“You tell him if he doesn’t stop, you’re never, tell him never, going to give him oral sex again! If that doesn’t work, throw up on his stomach.”
Johanson sometimes offers book reviews of new self-help sex books, although her criticism doesn’t go much beyond, “Don’t waste your money.” And she has particular disdain for writers who appear to play on their readers’ inhibitions by offering personal counseling advice — for a hefty price.
What Johanson lacks in substance abounds in Berman & Berman: For Women Only. Hosts Laura and Jennifer Berman are sisters, one a medical doctor, the other a psychologist. Each approaches the evening’s topic from their professional perspective. But what could be a cold, clinical discussion is softened with a sisterly tone.
Unlike Sunday Night Sex Show, Berman & Berman has a small, racially mixed live audience that ranges from twentysomething to well past middle age. The atmosphere is intimate, sometimes fun, and very frank. The Berman sisters are as likely as Johanson to use sex toys to make their point. But my favorite prop is a soft-sculpture, pink, mauve, and red vagina, the size of a sofa pillow. Like Johanson, the Berman sisters tend to focus on heterosexual sex, although guests from the fringes of sex counseling (e.g. sex surrogates) are politely given time to share their views. To their credit, the Berman sisters hold fast to their perspective without diminishing their guests’.
A preview of the week’s shows can be found at www.discoveryhealth.com. This week’s show topics include: Sexual Health in your 20s, 30s, and 40s, That Time of the Month, Recovering From Abuse, Pregnancy and Motherhood, and Twins.
Sunday Night Sex Show airs Monday through Friday (go figure) at 11pm on the Oxygen Network. For info on upcoming shows, see www.oxygen.com/sexshow/. Berman & Berman: For Women Only airs Monday through Friday at 9pm, midnight, and 3am on Discovery Health.
Da Blond Bomb
Anna Nicole Smith stars in her own reality series, The Anna Nicole Show. Cameras follow Anna 24/7 as she redecorates her house, cuddles her dog, Sugar Pie, and contemplates life without men. The Anna Nicole Show premieres Sunday, Aug. 4, 9pm on E!.This article appears in August 2 • 2002.