Please remove pants before getting to the front of the line.

OK, look, I’m on vacation, and every moment I spend thinking about blog posts is time that could be spent on the beach getting sand in inappropriate places. So I’ll make this quick.

In honor of air travel and the pleasures that come with the inscrutable security checks we have a game called Airport Security. Set the level of security alert from “fickle” to “knee-jerk” and prepare to search, confiscate, intimidate, confuse, and generally violate innocent sky-goers. Security alerts come fast and furious as everything from Preparation-H to pants are said to be a safety hazard and must be removed. The game is impossibly hard and won’t last more than a few minutes but the joke gets old right around that time, so that’s for the best.

Click here to play.

Enjoy.

This article appears in July 3 • 2009.

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James graduated from Columbia University in 2000 and moved to Austin a year later. Ever since, he has followed the arts and video game scene in ATX, editing and writing stories for the Chronicle along the way. Over his more than 20 years with the paper he has climbed the "corporate" ladder from lowly intern to managing editor.