D: Gregory Widen; with Christopher Walken, Elias Koteas, Virginia Madsen,
Eric Stoltz, Viggo Mortensen,
Amanda Plummer.
VHS Home Video
Whatever the story might be on writer/director Gregory Widen, the words
“Catholic school” must be written all over his transcript. Maybe a failed
priest — the fate assigned his no-charisma protagonist (Koteas), a cop by way
of seminary school who’s working the homicide of an angel. Gabriel (Walken),
trumpet and all, comes after the white wing tips of angel Simon (Stoltz) for a
little payback and the soul he stole — that of an evil war criminal who’ll
decide the war in heaven in favor of Gabriel’s minions who think God’s “talking
monkeys” (you and me) aren’t as… er, beautiful as Gabriel. Walken walks away
with another prize for his cult-cluttered mantelpiece as the gleefully menacing
grievous angel, though the devil (Mortensen) almost steals it back in the best
Lucifer cameo since De Niro in Angel Heart. — Raoul
Hernandez
MST3K Poopie
Best Brains Studio, Inc.Vulcan Video, 609 W. 29th Street
In the tradition of television’s innumerable blooper programs, those wacky
folks at Best Brains (the studio responsible for Mystery Science Theater
3000) have compiled yet another video tidbit. In this video we get the
straight dope — or poopie — on what it takes to put together an episode of
MST3K. Outtakes of host segments are a laugh-riot of gaffes, blunders,
and bad puns involving Mike Nelson, Joel Robinson, and robots Tom Servo and
Crow. To paraphrase one of the lines from an episode of MST3K, watching
MST3K Poopie is just like using voodoo — a safe, economical way to
inflict a gentle kind of evil on the world. — Alison Macor
Warcraft II: Beyond
the Dark Portal
PC CD-ROMBlizzard Entertainment
Fans of last year’s runaway real-time strategy hit Warcraft II: The Tides
of Darkness are in luck. Blizzard has released an expansion set with two
new campaigns, one Orc and one human, and 50 new custom maps. Players can
choose to command either the noble, but boring, humans, or the bloodthirsty
Orcs. Drawbacks to Beyond the Dark Portal include a high difficulty
level and dearth of cinematic cut-scenes. On the plus side, each army now has
heroes (extremely powerful characters) at their disposal and there are new
battlegrounds set in the Orcish homeland. In order to run Beyond the Dark
Portal, players must already have Tides of Darkness installed. — Bud Simons
Moonlight and Valentino
D: David Anspaugh; with Elizabeth Perkins, Gwyneth Paltrow, Josef Sommer,Jeremy Sisto, Kathleen Turner, Whoopi Goldberg, Jon Bon Jovi.
VHS Home Video
I Luv Video, 4631 Airport Blvd.
In a modern world it takes death at your doorstep to consider spirituality.
Ellen Simon’s (daughter of Neil Simon) play-turned-film offers variations on
the bereavement process that include humor, psychotherapy, and a little Jon Bon
Jovi (in his film debut). Rebecca’s (Perkins) husband dies and her support
group — an eccentric friend with marital problems, a domineering ex-stepmother
with a cell phone/fax machine addiction, and her introverted chain-smoking
sister (Paltrow) — all come together for what those in the chick-flick biz
call “female bonding” and those in the therapy profession term “letting go.”
The astute script fails to effectively cross over into film as it is
sporadically hobbled by unsuccessful scenes and inconsistent performances. The
annoying psychobabble never fully achieves Woody Allen caliber, nor stays
rooted in believable drama, but instead hangs in limbo to create a kind of
Melrose Place mystique. — Stephany Baskin
Wild Bill
D: Walter Hill; with Jeff Bridges,Ellen Barkin, John Hurt, Diane Lane,
David Arquette, Christina Applegate, Bruce Dern.
VHS Home Video
Encore Music and Video,
8820 Burnet
Unfairly dismissed by critics and audiences alike,Wild Bill is
director Walter Hill’s best film in years: a thematically ambitious western
that deserves a second chance on video. An unusually structured,
flashback-filled look at the last days of the legendary gunslinger, Wild
Bill is most interesting as an ironic examination of America’s mythmaking
machine, although it’s also satisfying as both an action picture and a drama,
thanks to Hill’s imaginative direction and solid, witty performances from just
about the entire cast. MGM’s VHS videocassette looks fine, but take a look at
the laserdisc if you have the capability. It’s the only format that truly does
justice to Lloyd Ahern’s gorgeous cinematography, which was some of the best to
grace theatre screens last year. — Joey O’Bryan
This article appears in July 12 • 1996 and July 12 • 1996 (Cover).