AUTOMATIC

D: Jonathan Walls; with Travis Schuldt, Jay Thames, Jamie Anne Brown, Jennifer Ferguson, Brandy Howard, Sean O’Bryan

Narrative Feature Lone Star States

Remember thirtysomething? Me, neither. But I remember Melrose Place! Imagine a whole season, no commercials! Six white people who never really work, but have really nice homes – well, except for the chronic-masturbator, Will (well-played by Thames), a wardrobe security guard – are all connected by tawdry dealings: life, love, hate, lust, jealousy, intrigue, and cocktails. You’ve got your midlife crisis ad man, your handsome young buck with commitment problems, your uptight yoga-instructor type, your mysterious dark-haired girl with issues, your creepy redhead who can never get a girlfriend, and your little sister that’s all grown up, if you know what I mean. Throw in a little porn and some half-incest, and we’re talking Falcon Crest!


Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar, 11:30am

This article appears in March 18 • 2005.

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