All screenings are at midnight at the Alamo Drafthouse, 409 Colorado. Admission is free.
Feb. 21
SHOCK WAVES (1978)Soggy underwater Nazis surface from a forgotten shipwreck and join John Carradine for some good old-fashioned non-gore horror movie fun. Creepy and effective.
Feb. 28
THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE (1987)Oh, weren’t the Eighties glorious? Somehow ol’ Anthony Newley got roped into this live-action spinoff of the revolting bubblegum cards (which were in turn a takeoff on the overly cutesy-wutesy dolls that shoppers beat the crap out of each other for at Christmas). It promises to stink to high heaven.
March 7
GUARDIANS OF HELL (1980)Well, there’s a mirror that leads to hell, a telekinetic baby, and possessed nuns. Oh yeah, and it’s from Italy. That should give you all you need to know.
March 21
JAILBAIT BABYSITTER (1978)Vicki’s 17, and she gets in the kind of trouble that you might guess with a title like that. It promises to be sleazy fun.
March 28
FEARLESS FIGHTERSNot much is known about this except that it’s some pretty out-of-control kung fu.
April 4
MR. SCARFACE (1976)Jack Palance is the imaginatively named title character in this cheapjack Italian crime flick.
April 11
THE CRAVING (1980)Werewolves, vampires, gore, nudity, Countess Bathory, and Paul Naschy. What more do you want?
April 18
BLOOD RAGE (1983)Oh, y’know, it’s the old evil twin showing up to commit some murders and the good twin getting blamed for it. Louise Lasser is in it too, for some reason. There ought to be enough blood to keep things interesting.
April 25
RUN ANGEL RUN (1969) Big ol’ William Smith quits his bike gang after selling an exposé story to a magazine, but four of his runnin’ buddies show up and, like, disrupt his peaceful lifestyle, man. Tammy Wynette had a hit song with the theme. Oh, yeaaah.
Something Weird Wednesdays will continue indefinitely at the Alamo. Check www.drafthouse.com for updates.
This article appears in February 16 • 2001.