Meet the Feebles
D: Peter Jackson; with all-puppet cast.
VHS Home Video Before Kiwi filmmaker Peter Jackson (Dead Alive) learned how to pop
bloody pustules on humans, he tried his hand with puppets. Meet the
Feebles, a behind-the-scenes narrative involving the drug-crazed,
sex-obsessed cast of a Muppet Show-like variety hour, pulls no punches while
indulging the most perverse excesses of the filmmaker. Jackson’s rejection of
cute puppet sentimentalism in favor of a foam-rubber realization of utter moral
bankruptcy makes for deviant fun with a hard edge. Parents: Don’t let the
saccharine cover photo create any confusion about the very adult subject matter
of the film, unless of course you care to give the wee ones a harsh lesson on
nature’s ways, including a depiction of a cat fellating a walrus, among
countless other faunal grotesqueries. — Andrew Goldman Crusader: No Remorse
Origin Systems
CD-ROM for PC Take Ultima‘s three-quarter-perspective game-engine, add a Doom mentality, spectacular death throes � l� Mortal Kombat,
and you’ve got a non-stop shoot-’em-up that provides hours of bloody good fun.
Remorse is indeed something you’ll have to leave behind to successfully blast
your way through Crusader‘s many deadly levels. The game requires a
high-end PC to run (as do most of Origin’s games), but the superb graphics,
sound, and game play make this a must-own for anyone with both a Pentium and a
chip on his or her shoulder. — Bud Simons
First Knight
D: Jerry Zucker; with Sean Connery, Richard Gere, Julia Ormond, Ben Cross,
Liam Cunningham.
VHS Home Video An epic measured by Hollywood’s typical equation (length + little depth x big
budget = bore), this latest version of Camelot brings Lancelot (Gere) center
stage as he woos Guinevere (Ormond) away from the noble cuckold, King Arthur
(Connery). Campy humor and melodramatic romance play amongst ample battle
scenes. Here’s a taste of Zucker’s directorial vision: Lancelot, equipped with
emotional baggage, while running to save villagers trapped inside a burning
church, recalls the tragedy surrounding his parents’ death (see blazing
flashback due east from his head). Have your own flashback. Rent John Boorman’s
low-budget 1981 Excalibur and sit back for betrayal dripping with
mystical sorcery. — Stephany Baskin
Destruction Derby
Psygnosis
for Sony Playstation This game delivers exactly what the title suggests, and then some.
Destruction Derby has several different tracks for use in the
wrecking/racing scenario in which the objective is similar to other racing
games but the resulting carnage is spectacular beyond belief. There’s also the
traditional bowl-of-cars contest, wherein each driver’s intent is the reduction
of all other autos to smoking ruin. The graphics and sound are spectacular;
vehicles suffer visible damage and correspondingly reduced performance. This
just might be the catharsis you need after dealing with a long drive home at
the end of the day. Also available on PC CD-ROM. — Bud Simons
Nell
D: Michael Apted; with Jodie Foster, Liam Neeson, Natasha Richardson.
VHS Home Video Dr. Lovell (Neeson) finds Nell (Foster) in the Smoky Mountains’ back woods
alone without a discernible language. When Dr. Olsen (Richardson) steps in to
take her to the psychiatric community, a battle over Nell’s fate ensues between
the doctors. A predictable story full of banal dialogue limits the performances
from this phenomenal cast. Realism is scrapped and replaced with egoism and
voyeurism. Nell, fostered from Jodie’s Egg Pictures, should have been
left in the back woods with its original hermetic writer, Mark Handley, where
it would have remained in its natural state. Instead, Hollywood abducted it,
transforming it into a contrived work. — Stephany Baskin
Sam & Max Hit the Road
CD-ROM for PC
LucasArts Goofy, sarcastic, buddy mystery/adventure games never go out of style, and
now there’s Sam and Max Hit the Road on CD-ROM. These two gumshoes are
freelance police on an adventurous search for a missing Bigfoot. Most of the
plot takes place at a carnival. Since this game is mostly about entertainment,
the designers have hidden several games within that could, conceivably, be
played for hours without missing any part of the main game.—
Nisa Sharma
This article appears in February 23 • 1996 and February 23 • 1996 (Cover).