Langley, one of the three conspiracy theorists known as “The Lone Gunmen” on The X-Files

Oh Lordy, the South’s gonna do it again:Thank your lucky stars you don’t live in that bastion of social morality — Birmingham, Alabama. That’s where the local ABC affiliate plans to air one 30-minute show about weather and another half-hour show about former Alabama coach Gene Stallings in place of the surely-it’s-no-coincidence-this-is-aired-during-the-ratings-sweeps episode of Ellen on April 30. This is the much-talked-about episode in which Ellen DeGeneres‘ character Ellen Morgan announces, as the actress herself did in a Time magazine cover story, that she is gay. I thought we got over this sort of this brouhaha after Roseanne sucked face with Mariel Hemingway, but maybe not.

Although those local viewers can’t tune in the show, Birmingham Pride and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation is scheduling a broadcast by satellite of the episode at Birmingham’s Alabama Theater that night. “The gathering at the Alabama Theater is a testament to the importance of this ground-breaking moment in television history,” said Chastity Bono, the entertainment media director of GLAAD.

Yeah, but even more important is that what this development on Ellen might mean is that we can start seeing fully-dimensional gay characters instead of the dumbed-down stereotypes such as Doug Savant‘s Matt Fielding on FOX‘s Melrose Place. If that happens, the next logical step might be the integration of those non-heterosexual characters into scripts without having to make an issue of their orientation! Wouldn’t that be a hoot!

Given the squirrely nature of standards in networks, it is a milestone for prime-time programming to feature a gay lead character. It is not, however, surprising that the character doing this ground-breaking is female, as female homosexuality seems to be less forbidden in general. (Else why do men’s magazines feature so many fantasy lesbian pictorials?) Yes, NBC tried in 1981 to introduce a gay male lead with Tony Randall in Love, Sidney, but audiences simply weren’t ready back then. Of course, viewers might have shunned it because the show was dreadfully scripted, but that’s not likely since ABC’s execrable Three’s Company ran for another two years after Sidney folded. I wonder what the Birmingham station ran in Sidney‘s timeslot.

DeGeneres’ character will have plenty of help coming out, though. Guest stars for the landmark episode (a special one-hour broadcast) include Demi Moore, Billy Bob Thornton, Oprah Winfrey, k.d. lang, and Laura Dern. Look for more guests on Ellen May 7 when ABC’s ratings-grabber will be a 3-D segment of the show in which Joan Jett appears, and other guests include aforementioned Chastity Bono and Laraine Newman. (Am I alone in thinking Newman deprived her face of its character and kissed her career goodbye when she got her nose done? It is much more noticeable than Jennifer Gray‘s rhinoplasty.)

While taking this gutsy-for-the-network step by letting Ellen Morgan out of the closet, the network subsequently rejected two ads designed to complement the theme of the show, a proposed 30-second ad on discrimination from the Human Rights Campaign and a 15-second spot from a lesbian travel service, Olivia Cruises and Resorts. ABC Standards and Practices passed on Olivia’s ad in part because “It is our position that discussion about same-sex lifestyle is more appropriate in programming.” ABC didn’t, however, hesitate to move Diane Sawyer‘s interview with DeGeneres (originally scheduled to air earlier this week on Prime-Time Live) to 20/20 on Friday, April 25 in order to cash in on its proximity to the controversial broadcast.

Even FOX jumps on the outing bandwagon on April 28 on Married… With Children, when Amanda Bearse, who plays the Bundys’ neighbor Marcy D’Arcy, appears in a dual role as her lesbian cousin, Mandy. To some, that move might seem like copycatting, but have a heart: MWC, not so long ago trumpeted as FOX’s longest-running success, just got its pink slip after 11 years. There won’t be any warm fuzzy ending for the white-trash comedy, as its cancelation was announced after the final episode was shot. No doubt the $500,000 per episode Ed O’Neill was receiving drained the show’s resources, although the show has earned $400-500 million in syndication already. That FOX affiliate in Birmingham doubtless has a special on cross-breeding turtles to run in MWC‘s place on the 28th.

If you’re looking to enjoy the 3-D hype ABC is touting for its sweeps period, tune in Tuesday, May 6 through Friday, May 9 to Ellen, Home Improvement, America’s Funniest Home Videos, Spin City, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, The Drew Carey Show, and Step by Step. Wendy’s Hamburgers locations across the United States will offer the special 3-D glasses, of which 20 million pair are being distributed.

FOX may have divorced Married… With Children, but it is cozy enough at its new Pacific Palisades address to order an additional 13 episodes of the stylish three-week-old drama. PP has averaged a 6.4 national Nielsen rating and an 11 percent share of the audience. The order for the forthcoming episodes evinces more faith than FOX had in last year’s intriguing but uneven Profit, but the network has a few tricks in store for PP.

By the way, FOX — your website sucks (http://www.foxworld.com/). I couldn’t even find a cast list for Melrose Place, much less any info on King of the Hill. What’s the deal? A half-million bucks an episode for Al Bundy, but you can’t even tell us who does the voice of Boomhauer on KOTH? What’s that all about?

At least their site for The X-Files is good(http://www.thex-files.com/index.htm), as befits the network’s best show. Cast biographies, extensive episode summaries, and good info on my favorite characters, that weirdo trio of conspiracy theorists sometimes consulted by Fox Mulder (David Duchovny), the Lone Gunmen. Helpful as the site is, however, the fan-based X-Files websites are usually better and more comprehensive. Is it possible that FOX will pay more attention to their website with the Bundys moved out? The truth is out there.

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