Despite the fact that National Lampoon: The Magazine has finally succumbed to poor sales, the company’s film division stoically marches onward, buoyed by its seemingly endless Chevy Chase/Vacation series and, now, by this overambitious attempt at cashing in on the highly lucrative parody genre. Taking aim at overwrought buddy-cop movies like the Lethal Weapon trilogy — as well as 48HRS., Silence of the Lambs, and, strangely, Wayne’s World — director Quintano has peppered his film with more star cameos than you can shake The Player at. Unfortunately, cameos do not a hilarious comedy make and what we are left with is a film so disastrously slight that you’ve forgotten 95% of the gags by the time you pull out of the parking lot. Jackson and Estevez (and it seems like the Sheen family is beginning to make a habit out of this type of film; brother Charlie’s Hot Shots Part Deux is coming soon, and he’s even managed to weasel his way into this one as well) are mismatched L.A. cops, one set to step down in three days, the other nearly psychotic over the loss of his one true love, on the trail of a cocaine lord who’s been hiding product inside “Wilderness Girl” cookies (“No wonder I couldn’t eat just one,” says Estevez). A plot like this, flimsily cobbled together from the dregs of other, more successful, movies rarely works as well as hoped, but Loaded Weapon discards a cardinal rule of parody films by failing to layer its yuks. You find yourself actually having to wait around for the next bombshell, and when it comes, it’s nearly always a letdown. While past parodies like Airplane! and the marginally worthwhile Hot Shots filled out down time with slapstick visuals and spastic throwaway gags, Loaded Weapon is content to lumber along at its own boring pace: you end up checking your watch between jokes, and there’s nothing funny about that.
This article appears in February 12 • 1993 (Cover).