Ladies and gentlemen, the honorable Jeffrey Tambor has graciously given me permission to overwrite this blog. Only then shall we verily find the truth within. Consider the challenge accepted as we learn how to act in 10 easy steps. Ready? Start your thespian engines …
Greta Gerwig and Kent Osborne are our model acting students. These two artistic poster children will laugh, cry, throw bottles across the room, and pretty much do whatever Tambor asks. He was on The Larry Sanders Show, folks!
Now on to those 10 easy (well, sort of) steps to success. Consider this the digest version until our potentate of pontification gets that book written. (He was on Arrested Development, my stars in waiting!)
1) Rehearse while the shot is being set up. “You’ve got to be stealthy,” our teacher says. “You’ve got to be a sniper.”
2) Character is contradiction. “Otherwise we wouldn’t have statements from the neighbor that ‘he was always very nice.’ “
3) Revenge is sweet. “Those poor mortals out there have to go to a psychiatrist. You get to act. You get to kill the fucker.”
4) “Don’t worry about the line.” ACT!
5) “People are ridiculous.”
6) “There are silences.” (Mr. Tambor breaks into “There’s No Business Like Show Business” anyway.)
7) “We all need an attaboy.”
8) “You can’t get hurt in acting; you can only get better.”
9) “Try not to work with sadists if you can.”
10) “If you have a problem with art, go fuck yourself.”
This article appears in March 7 • 2008.