[Sung to the tune of “New York, New York”]
(Da da da spurt spurt)
(Da da da spurt spurt)
(Da da da spurt spurt SPURT)
Start counting the stiffs,
I’m coming your way.
I want to dismember parts of it,
New York, New York.
No more half-naked kiddies
Out at Crystal Lake for me.
I’m the new Son of Sam,
On a new killing spree.
This old hockey mask,<
Won’t attract any stares.
I want to draw and quarter it,
New York, New York.
I’ll be just one more madman
Out roaming the city streets.
I’ll maim, chop, slash, and I’ll kill,
Just as I please.
This summer-camp axe,
is longing to swing.
I want body parts from all of it,
New York, New York.
I’ll be no stranger there,
In Central Park or in Times Square,
I’ll feel right at home,
New York, New York.
[Ed. note: Steve Davis has reviewed eight Friday the 13th movies. He’s switched to all-verse reviews with #7 and is currently gearing up to move to haiku for #13, tentatively set to open in the summer of 1994.]
This article appears in August 4 • 1989 (Cover).
