Hey dude, ‘sup? Just chillin’ here with a brew and surfing the Net after seeing this really kewl movie Extreme Ops tonight. In one word, it was totally awesome. It’s about these guys who go to the Australian Alps to film this commercial of a guy and two girls outracing a friggin’ avalanche, for real man, with none of that George Lucas digital bogus crap. Well, once they get there, they have to stay at this freaky half-built resort on top of this big-ass mountain because they trashed the regular hotel where they were gonna crash. The X-tremists are hardcore and do lots of stuff that you shouldn’t do at home, like snowboarding at night in the dark and drinking beer in a homemade hot tub. It’s like jackass, but with a budget and no midgets. Anyway, the thing is, there’s this mean-ass war criminal with this Colonel Klink accent (he’s from Suburbia or something, wherever the hell that is) who’s hiding out in this resort with his gang, except that the commercial dudes don’t know it. Well, when this Klink guy’s son is killed after making the two girls kiss while he videotapes them (it’s too complicated to explain here, but OMG, the uptight skier babe is H-A-W-T), the shit hits the fan and the commercial guys are chased by a helicopter while they escape down the mountain. I couldn’t figure out what was really happening in this last part, except for when the uptight skier chick is hanging upside down from this cliff and this guy is holding onto her by her pants, which start coming off and you can see her panties. (She tries to A-C-T in this other scene before this one, like she’s a Marilyn Streep or something, but the cliff scene is her best scene.) Anyway, the really sweet part comes when this really wicked avalanche does happen while they’re being chased and the director decides to film the uptight skier chick in front of it, so they can use it in the commercial. It was sooooooo rad, man! And they end up saving the world, too. IMO, you should check the movie out, but don’t take your parents to it (like you would). There was this guy from The Austin Chronicle sitting behind me at the movie theatre and I heard him tell this other guy that the movie should have been called Dude, Where’s My Snowboard? But he must have been like 50, so what does he know? Well, gotta go, Road Rules is on. Gonna 420 and kick back for the rest of the night. L8R.
This article appears in December 6 • 2002.
