Rick Perry: "Oh, will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?" Credit: Photo by Richard Whittaker

So the worst kept secret in national politics is that Gov. Rick Perry wants to overshadow the results in the Ames GOP presidential straw poll by formally declaring on Saturday. However, the teases have become full blown spoiler alerts now that his press guy Mark Miner is telling everyone to set their schedules

Miner told the Associated Press that Gov. Good Hair will make the formal announcement during his Aug. 16 trip to South Carolina and New Hampshire (both key primary states) while the declared candidates are in Iowa. To prove that this was not some weird trial balloon, Perry even signed KVUE’s copy of the wire report.

However, because he has not announced yet, he will not be on the Ames ballot. It’s sort of ingenious, really. By staying out of the poll but still getting astroturfers to campaign for him as a write-in candidate, he gets the best of both worlds. If he flunks out, well, he was never on the ballot anyway. If he does well, or even breaks double-digits, then it’s another of those calls he says he’s been getting. Either way, he’ll possibly overshadow whoever does win the straw poll (not that this is his first attempt to steal someone else’s thunder by an oddly-timed press event. Remember when Miner played Pappy O’Daniel in front of the Texas Democratic Party Headquarters?)

This is just another episode in the long, strange tale of Perry, which we’ve been charting right back to his time in the legislature as a Democrat. Don’t forget, you can always find out more about the man that would be president at The Perry Trap.

This article appears in August 5 • 2011.

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The Chronicle's first Culture Desk editor, Richard has reported on Austin's growing film production and appreciation scene for over a decade. A graduate of the universities of York, Stirling, and UT-Austin, a Rotten Tomatoes certified critic, and eight-time Best of Austin winner, he's currently at work on two books and a play.