Really, we don’t have enough to deal with here at the Chronicle. There’s our new music blogs, which we do hope you’re enjoying (or at least reading). There’s something called “SXSW” next month that they tell us is kind of a big deal. There’s this newspaper we somehow manage to put out every week. Speaking of putting out, so when TCB is looking forward to a quiet weekend in Houston for his dad’s birthday, the first thing his brother tells him is that walking train wreck and former TCB crush Britney Spears has shaved her head. He knows what you’re thinking: “Why, God, why?” Funny you asked…
Because even K-Fed couldn’t possibly do something this stupid.
Hopes glare from head will somehow thwart paparazzi.
Mistakenly believes cutting hair like Natalie Portman will win her the female lead in George Lucas‘ next Star Wars series.
Disguising herself as former boyfriend Justin Timberlake so Timbaland will produce her next album.
Payday from posing as Shaved! centerfold enough to put Sean Preston through Harvard.
Somehow convinced “Lex Luthor look” was all the rage at NYC’s recent Fashion Week. Alcohol suspected.
Watched Alien 3 and Trainspotting one time too many.
Save dying like Anna Nicole, almost out of ways to stay in tabloid headlines.
Simply wanted the drapes to match the carpet.
At long last, ready to mount serious challenge to Sinead O’Connor for Exalted Queen of Crazytown.
This article appears in February 16 • 2007.