Susan Combs bows out, Michele Bachmann gives up, and Derek Thompson bros down. Nostalgia is on the News Ticker.
• For the more sentimental among us, KUT has a rundown of recent Texas Lege special sessions. We suggest reading to a soundtrack of Boyz II Men‘s “End of the Road.”
• After briefly singing along to the breakdown on “Motownphilly,” skip forward to “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday.” Feel free to use multiple tissues while contemplating life without Comptroller Susan Combs.
• Now that Michele Bachmann is retiring from the House, Rep. Louie Gohmert should throw on a Party City wig and a Rejuvenique mask to see if anyone notices the difference.
• Much like the “teenage” actors in Mark Harmon‘s magnum opus Summer School, Texas’ hostage lawmakers are looking for any way to play hooky.
• Wash your clothes in a filthy rain barrel. See if Austin cares.
• The American College of Sports Medicine has ranked Austin 11th in its annual American Fitness Index.
• Speaking of arbitrary lists, the Cloak Room is ranked among Esquire‘s 2013 “Best Bars in America.” Don’t they know that inhaling bone dust is dangerous?
• According to real estate broker Redfin, 78746 is the ZIP for selling luxury homes in Austin. Homeowners in less desirable locales are advised to start purchasing multiple little red wagons.
• Cedar Park obviously has not read The Rules.
• Judging by The Atlantic‘s Derek Thompson‘s breathlessly frat-tastic tone, Houston is totally gonna win homecoming king.
• Twin giraffes have been born at New Braunfels’ Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch. You can squeal now; we won’t judge. This post is over anyway.
This article appears in May 24 • 2013.