Greg Abbott is a private dick, Jodie Laubenberg makes a cameo, and Ted Cruz runs in circles. Logic is on the News Ticker.
• Hot off the heels of the second special session, House Speaker Joe Straus has announced to the lower chamber that Gov. Rick Perry will be calling a third. Politicians are calling it the least anticipated sequel to a summer blockbuster since the The Matrix Revolutions.
• Perhaps disappointed that her recent date with Big Tex didn’t go quite as well as planned, Sen. Jane Nelson has announced she will henceforth only be dealing with “real Texans.”
• While speaking to the Heritage Foundation about the need to have a vote to defund Obamacare, Sen. Ted Cruz lambasted House Republicans for voting to defund Obamacare. In his determination to always be contrary, Cruz has somehow become an M.C. Escher print.
• Here’s a photo of Sen. John Cornyn smiling while wearing Google Glasses. And here we thought all evil grins were blinding white.
• Hastily developed Law and Order: SVU spin-off Rep. Jodie Laubenberg has made it on Salon’s list of America’s most extreme anti-choice legislators.
• Like a young Julia Roberts stumbling upon a particularly troubling brief, gumshoe Atty. Gen. Greg Abbott has uncovered President Obama‘s plot to take over Texas.
• Although we appreciate the Texas Tribune‘s continuing coverage of “crapgate,”, it does seem likely that they will not find shit.
• We wouldn’t go so far as to question Kiplinger‘s survey methodology, but we do wonder what sample group voted Bryan/ College Station the third best place to live in the U.S. We hope they realize that Gitmo detainees will tell them anything they want to hear.
• Austin has announced the finalists for the renovation of the Seaholm Intake Facility. Oddly, our beautifully rendered plan to use the shell as the world’s largest Jello mold did not make the cut.
This article appears in July 26 • 2013.