Shamu gives it up for animal rights, Naomi Gonzalez makes lemonade, and Chicago relishes a departure. Bluster is on the News Ticker.
• Investigators have ruled out a rail car filled with ammonium nitrate as the cause of the West explosion.
• Meanwhile, two negligence lawsuits have been filed against Adair Grain, the owners of West Fertilizer.
• With all the chatter about public officials’ various DUIs, it’s easy to overlook silver linings. At least for Rep. Naomi Gonzalez, a DUI appears to have been a good career move.
• Four AISD’s campuses made the annual list of U.S. News and World Report‘s Best High Schools.
• Earlier today, Anderson High School was evacuated due to a bomb threat.
• In celebration of Gov. Rick Perry getting the hell out of their town, Chicago hot dog makers have created a new specialty. The new sausage will feature a boot leather skin filled with hot air.
• As proof positive that sometimes prayers do get answered, soon consumers will be able to dip P. Terry’s fries in Whataburger Fancy Ketchup.
• The U.S. Supreme Court considers if Oklahoma really needs all that water.
• Contrary to what popular culture has taught us, The Simpsons‘ Mr. Burns is a resident of Texas.
• Since being mentioned in Senate debate, John Carona‘s cat has been getting a little full of himself.
• Animal rights opportunists PETA have purchased shares in the newly public SeaWorld. Later this month, Shamu will appear in a new promotional campaign wearing only a lettuce bra. Free Willy, indeed.
This article appears in April 19 • 2013.