In the wake of the terrorist attacks on the U.S., we had expected Statesman editor Rich Oppel to provide readers with a feast of portentous nonsense — but we underestimated the man. His extended Sunday column (Sept. 16) was an instant Readers’ Digest of all the pundit clichés already pounded into our heads by a week of TV and radio commentators reciting, virtually in unison, what George Orwell unforgettably defined as “Newspeak.”
Here is but a precious sample of Oppel’s memorably listless quacking, interwoven with drum-beating for war:
“Journalists prepare the first rough draft of history, so it is probably foolish to write of the events of the recent past and what may lie ahead, as an editor, a father, a husband, a citizen. I ask your tolerance.”
Yet a few lines later: “No neutrality now. You are with us, or you are against us.”
“At the helm in this hurricane of history is George W. Bush. Now we see him, hands spread wide, his forehead creased as he squints into the afternoon sun … He was off to a shaky start, but as the week rolls on he gains confidence and voice. The nation senses it.”
“Who now in Congress will speak against increased domestic oil and gas production? Who now will speak against increased defense spending? …
“All of that earlier nonsense is gone …
“Overseas, American unity was as unmistakable as the sound of a round being rammed into the chamber of a rifle.
“Afghanistan is a poor, sorry country, they plead. Spare us.
“Our role in the world is one of securing freedom, ensuring peace, spreading wealth.
“We should not talk ourselves into a recession. Autos still wear out, a fall chill suggests a look in the clothes closet. Housing bargains abound. Blockbuster is gradually shifting from video to DVD rentals.
“But whom to bomb?”
As Oppel put it, “All may be tested.”
And some, alas, will be found wanting.
This article appears in September 21 • 2001.
