Wake up, man. Snap to it! It’s high time to dig yourself out from this yellowing snowpile of neurotic family members and curdled eggnog. There’s a whole world out there that’s been going along just fine minus you, you know. Just what the hell have we missed?

First Traffic Light Installed at Mueller: Thursday, Public Works activated the traffic signal at Airport and Aldrich, the main entrance to the former airport. Here’s hoping no cars use it, as everyone bikes their 25-quart roasters back from Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Housing Authority Receives $350,000 Grant: Lloyd Doggett brings home the housing bacon. More info here.

Craddick Challenged as Speaker: We’re not referring to his eloquence; it looks as if Plano Republican Brian McCall is venturing into the lion’s den. Whoa.

Water Main Burst Downtown: Bad enough to send Whole Foods packing for the day. Double whoa.

Everyone is Dying: First James Brown, then Gerald Ford. RIP.

This article appears in December 22 • 2006.

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