Dick Cheney: Unlimited Power! Credit: White House photo by David Bohrer

President Cheney! Quick, people, this is not a drill!

Friday afternoon, White House flack-in-chief Tony Snow announced that President George Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy to look for benign polyps sometime Saturday at Camp David. What makes this very noteworthy is that he’ll be under full anesthesia, so this means there will, briefly, have to be a fill-in commander-in-chief. Under Section III of the 25th Amendment, he has appointed Vice President Richard B. Cheney as acting president while he’s incapable of making cogent presidential-level decisions.

However, for anyone who thought that getting the big gig would finally draw the invisible vice-president out of seclusion, he shall, like an unshakable quail, not break cover. Snow informed the press corps that Cheney will not return to D.C. but will remain at his home on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, right through the transfer of power.

This article appears in July 20 • 2007.

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The Chronicle's first Culture Desk editor, Richard has reported on Austin's growing film production and appreciation scene for over a decade. A graduate of the universities of York, Stirling, and UT-Austin, a Rotten Tomatoes certified critic, and eight-time Best of Austin winner, he's currently at work on two books and a play.