Total World Domination Vibes: Looks like the U.S. might be entering a whole new era of global conquest. During his Tuesday press conference at Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump said “we need” Greenland (belonging to Denmark) and the Panama Canal (belonging to Panama), and we could take them with military force. He also suggests seizing control of Canada. And, while we’re at it, Trump says we should rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. (Mexico’s president says: or maybe we should change this country’s name to Mexican America.)
Reverse Revolutionary War: Meanwhile, on Monday, frequent Mar-a-Lago guest and single-worst-Austinite Elon Musk hinted at the U.S. invading the UK. After wading into German politics last month to support its Nazi-aligned far-right party, he sent a flurry of tweets in recent days to rattle British politics, including accusing the Labour prime minister, Keir Starmer, of child rape, and demanding the release of an imprisoned far-right agitator.
Please Don’t Bore Through Austin: As Elon Musk morphs into a cartoon villain of epic proportions, it’s weird to think about his direct local at home. Remember in 2022, when we reported Austin city staff met with Musk’s Boring Co. in Las Vegas to discuss digging tunnels for our future metro system? Well, that meeting happened. For now, Boring Co. isn’t part of our plan. And thank god. ProPublica reported Wednesday that Boring is tunneling under Las Vegas with little oversight, skirting building, environmental and labor regulations. Not here, please.
Power Still On: Speaking of dodged bullets, the power is on. Or at least it was as the Chronicle went to press, after an arctic blast descended on Texas on Sunday. ERCOT, the state’s electricity provider, promised there would be no repeat of the disaster occasioned by Winter Storm Uri four years ago, when Texans lost power and at least 246 died. It looks like the days ahead will be warmer, but when it’s seriously cold, check austintexas.gov/alerts for updates on things like cold weather shelter locations. Stay warm, y’all!
UT Pres Leaving: During research for the Chronicle’s November feature on right-wing shifts at the University of Texas, we heard from an anonymous source who speculated that UT President Jay Hartzell would soon leave his position, because he was allied with the business faction of the Republican Party, including former Speaker of the Texas House Dade Phelan. On Tuesday, Hartzell resigned to lead Southern Methodist University. Hartzell’s resignation came less than nine months after 600 professors signed a letter expressing no confidence in him after his handling of issues involving DEI and the Palestinian protests. His last day is May 31.
Abortion Pills En Route: Texas women are still terminating pregnancies despite state laws outlawing abortion, and they’re doing it with abortion pills they receive in the mail. #WeCount, a tracking project from the Society of Family Planning, estimates that 2,800 Texans get abortion-inducing medications through the mail each month. The medications come from providers in blue states which have passed so-called shield laws that provide abortion pills through telehealth appointments and mail-order pharmacies. And you know where this is headed – Republicans mad. The Texas Tribune reports that Republicans will prioritize outlawing abortion pills in the upcoming session.
Dropping Suicide Line Calls: Thousands of Texans contemplating suicide are hanging up from the 988 suicide hotline, rather than wait on hold, The Texas Tribune reports. Between January and August, 18,500 calls to the 988 system in Texas were abandoned. About 160 staffers currently respond to calls, texts, and chats, with each handling 95 calls per person lasting, on average, about 15 minutes in May 2024.
Stop the Magic Talk: Let’s get abstract for a minute. This week The Atlantic pointed to a global shift toward more mystical thinking, and examined the relationship between mysticism, conspiracy theories, and the rise of far-right parties globally. This new age-y mysticism (à la Gwyneth Paltrow) used to be associated with the far-left, but The Atlantic also questions whether “right” and “left” make sense anymore, with “right-wing” parties no longer embracing conservatism, instead demanding radical change within governments, inspired by truthless mysticism.
Bee-utiful: A new species of bee – a little blue one – has been discovered in Texas and Oklahoma, and researchers have named it Andrena androfovea. University of Oklahoma biology professor James Hung told KUT News that “androfovea” refers to a structure in the eyes of males of the new species that is usually only found in female bees, structures analogous to eyeliners that may help attract mates. “So if you were to colloquialise its name into modern-day slang, it might be, you know, ‘eyeliner boy,’” Hung said. He added that the bees are picky eaters who only collect pollen from two plants in the nightshade family.
Quote of the Week
“America should liberate the people of Britain from their tyrannical government.”
– A poll Elon Musk tweeted Jan. 6
This article appears in January 10 • 2025.