This month, Capital Metro discontinued their free bus schedules, instead offering their Destinations schedule book “for a nominal fee” of $1. Here’s some fun facts about the new format:

– Cap Metro accountants originally proposed doubling the former schedule price; took them weeks to understand why it didn’t generate additional revenue

– Cover story a profile of young bus rider loudly rapping along to Lil Wayne on his CD player, including all the f-words and n-bombs

– Bus times reconfigured to transparently appeal to suburban voters and neglect inner-city riders

– Centerfold nothing but curses and epithets directed at Ben Wear

– Contains special edition scratch-and-sniff page replicating the distinct aromas of the #1M, #15, and #339 buses

– Cap Metro chair Lee Walker‘s editorial explaining the necessity of this cost-cutting decision written in gold-flake on ancient papyrus, while vacationing at his historic Italian villa

– Just like the chintzy squeeze they tried putting on their workforce, surely this will help solve the budget crunch at Cap Metro

This article appears in 2007.

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