We in the News section are accustomed to being bearers of bad news, but today we come bearing bad news and badass gifts. Whether you’re shopping for a prepper or a toddler, we’ve got you covered. Behold…
Winter Weather Doomsday Prepper Package
In these cartoonishly apocalyptic times, prepping for doomsday is a sensible lifestyle choice. Here are some creature comforts to bundle into a Winter Storm Gift Basket for a loved one this holiday season.
The crème de la crème is a generator. There are several “lightweight and stylish” options online, but you can always invest in a smaller portable device charger instead. Our Editor-in-Chief Kimberley Jones recommends this five-output VRURC charger in a calming seafoam colorway. Portable heaters on shopboldr.com and REI will give you all the heat you need to hole up like Bon Iver and write your next indie album. And if you can afford/stomach a Tesla product, investing in the giant Powerwall battery can get you off the grid.
Dads pondering emergency-scenario gifts for teens or young adults, this one’s for you. During winter wonderland events, car crashes become a serious concern – at the peak of the ice hurricane last winter, 40% of the city’s traffic signals went down. So here’s a gift bundle with a stamp of approval from the National Weather Service: a tow rope, sand or kitty litter, and flares.
Last but not least, extended power outages can be real, real boring. REI and PBS have some nice options for portable radios to keep you up to date on how many extra days Austin Energy will take to restore snapped power lines. This $25 one has a hand crank for extra homestead vibes! Fun! – Lina Fisher
Anti-Fascist Fa La La La
The holidays are definitely not a good time to engage in civic debate with parents, grandparents, etc. But some of us can’t help ourselves. Fortunately, there is a seamy underbelly of politically themed gifts (many of them mugs) that can be used to communicate your disgust with your loved ones and their fascist tendencies. Bonus: irony.
Nothing says Christmas like a mug labeled “Add Hot Water and Watch Your Civil Liberties Disappear Before Yours Eyes”
Cafe Press is hawking a snazzy “Republican Jesus” mug, which takes shots at some of the Savior’s most Marxist sentiments. This Jesus declares, “Forget that ‘blessed are the peacemakers’ crap. This Savior is packing heat.”
Ruth Bader Ginsburg is widely acknowledged as one of the greatest justices in Supreme Court history, and as the one and only Notorious R.B.G. Consider getting a feminist family member an “I Dissent” hoodie – or if you want another design, lots of small businesses on Etsy have RBG-themed outerwear to peruse.
Am I embarrassed to suggest socks? Hell, no. I wore my Obama socks until my toes were poking out. These Founding Fathers socks on Amazon have definite worn-till-torn potential.
Now, this heat-sensitive Bill of Rights mug adds a little depresso to your espresso. I can’t describe it any better than its makers do: “Add Hot Water and Watch Your Civil Liberties Disappear Before Yours Eyes.” – Brant Bingamon
For Whom the Jingle Bell Tolls
For the bookworm on your buying list, there were some notable releases by or about Texans this year that I’m sorting into two piles: feel-bad and feel-good. In the former camp, true-crime junkies will want to check out Waco: David Koresh, the Branch Davidians, and A Legacy of Rage (Simon & Schuster) by Jeff Guinn, who’s previously profiled cult leaders Charles Manson and Jim Jones. Jo Scott-Coe’s Unheard Witness: The Life and Death of Kathy Leissner Whitman (University of Texas Press) revolves around the actions of another madman, UT Tower shooter Charles Whitman, but focuses instead on examining the life of his first victim – his wife. And for a whole planet gone mad, consider Austinite Jeff Goodell’s The Heat Will Kill You First: Life and Death on a Scorched Planet (Little, Brown and Co.), a bone-chilling exploration of the impacts of climate change.
How about a pick-me-up? Recently retired President of Prairie View A&M University Ruth J. Simmons details her journey from Jim Crow Texas to the highest echelons of academia in memoir Up Home (Random House), a national bestseller. If you want to maximize the number of remarkable Texans chronicled in one tome, check out Texas Monthly‘s anthology, Lone Stars Rising: The Fifty People Who Turned Texas Into the Fastest-Growing, Most Exciting, and, Sometimes, Most Exasperating State in the Country (Harper). Meanwhile, coffeetable book Goodness Lives Here highlights the inspirational work being done by local nonprofit Mobile Loaves & Fishes on the occasion of its 25th anniversary, and all proceeds benefit MLF’s ongoing mission to support our unhoused neighbors.
Finally, two more books from two of Austin’s most reliable storytellers: Lawrence Wright’s satirical novel about Texas politics, Mr. Texas (Knopf), and historian H.W. Brands’ latest, Founding Partisans: Hamilton, Madison, Jefferson, Adams and the Brawling Birth of American Politics (Doubleday) – good reminders both that no matter how bad things seem, history has a story to share that’s probably even worse. – Kimberley Jones
Climate-Conscious Kris Kringle
From sky-high electricity bills to the bone-dry greenbelt, the effects of climate change on our region are pretty clear these days. That’s a bummer, but bee-, bird-, and butterfly-friendly gifts are not.
For friends and family who are inclined to turn their own yards or balconies into little slices of heaven, our local nurseries and garden stores are holiday gift treasure troves. Shoal Creek Nursery and the Natural Gardener both sell wildflower seeds year-round, and lots of flower seeds like to be planted in colder weather. Some bee favorites include asters, black-eyed Susans, bluebonnets, lavender, oregano, and sunflowers. Birdhouses and bird feeders make cute gifts, but have you considered a bee boarding palace? Natural Gardener recommends the gift of one of these bee hotels, which look like birdhouses but are full of holes that give beneficial bugs a place to rest.
For bird lovers, there’s the gift of membership to the Travis Audubon Society – that comes with access to a 715-acre sanctuary and admission to monthly talks. For something to wrap, pair it with binoculars or a Birds of Central Texas Reference Guide, available to buy online at the Texas Capitol Gift Shop (where proceeds support maintenance of the Capitol grounds).
But maybe you’re feeling fancy. Maybe you’re looking for a big-ticket item to blow your loved one out of the water. If so, consider an e-bike, scooter, or moped. If you go this route, you can get a rebate from Austin Energy ranging from $200 to $1,300 (info at t.ly/z3MiB). That’s a grinch-certified steal! – Maggie Q. Thompson
Politico Kiddos
Politically themed gifts for children are few and far between, which is an overall positive trend, but it is important to foster civic participation in future generations. The Texas Capitol isn’t good for much lawmaking these days, but at least the gift store still sells some fun gifts – like a big (96 pages!) Texas-themed activity book, a Texas coloring book, and a glittery, bat-filled snow globe. If you know a child who wants to experience the thrill of presiding over a legislative body, consider the miniature gavel from the Bullock Texas State History Museum Store – warring political factions not included.
If you know a child who wants to experience the thrill of presiding over a legislative body, consider the miniature gavel from the Bullock Museum Store – warring political factions not included.
For gifts a little closer to home, check out this locally made and very colorful book by Annie Mayfield about how cool a city Austin is, titled, appropriately, Austin Is Cool and Also Totally Weird. Gifting an experience rather than an item that will, at some point, likely end up in the landfill is always nice. Consider a membership to the renovated and newly opened Texas Science & Natural History Museum. You can pair the gift card with a plush dino from the museum’s gift shop. Or keep it simple and toy-free: The children in your life may not appreciate opening what is essentially a gift card, but just wait until you take them to the museum to see the giant dinosaur bones. – Austin Sanders
This article appears in Gift Guide 2023.