The Beaumonts

Where Do You Want It? (Saustex)

Lubbock never ceases spewing forth great musicians. What else is there to do there, anyway? It seems unlikely, however, that the Beaumonts will be mentioned in the same breath as Buddy Holly or the Flatlanders mafia. With one foot in the honky-tonk and the other in the gutter, the quintet makes country & western as imagined by Andrew Dice Clay. “If you don’t love the Lord, you’re fuckin’ fucked – just like a whore,” singer Troy Wayne Delco declares on “(If You Don’t) Love the Lord,” and the discourse rarely gets any wittier than that. Admittedly, “Toby Keith is the ugliest woman that I swear I ever seen” elicits well-deserved chuckles, but the f-bomb lovin’ “I Like Women,” “I Like Drinkin’,” and “I Deserve a Drink” suit a single, eye-rolling spin and little more. It’s all in good, smutty fun, of course, but smut doesn’t usually hold up for more than one viewing.

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This article appears in April 12 • 2013.

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Michael Toland started writing about music in 1988 on the Gulf Coast, moved to Austin in early 1991, and has inflicted bylines upon the corporeal and digital pages of Pop Culture Press, The Big Takeover, Blurt, Amplifier, Austin.citysearch, the Austin American Statesman, Goldmine, Sleazegrinder, Rock & Roll Globe, High Bias, FHT Music Notes, and, since 2011, The Austin Chronicle.