My first job was the worst I ever had. It was this mom and pop “health food” restaurant in Longview when I was 16. It was miserable. I’ve always considered myself a good worker, but the owners took an immediate disliking to me for some reason. Meanwhile, their son who worked there was this Tyler Durden-like character, just a complete guerrilla terrorist. He had sex with a cantaloupe in the bathroom that I’m pretty sure we served afterward.
One day, he brought in the salad bin when we were closing up. I was washing dishes and he told me to dump it in the trash, so I did and continued to throw other scraps and stuff in there. Then he came back and asked what I did with the salad. He had a to-go container and just started digging through trash and putting it in there because somebody had come in and ordered a salad. So we served trash salad.
Eventually, after about six months, I got fired because the place was failing anyway. Thankfully, it’s not around anymore.
Quiet Company’s biting new EP, Your Husband, the Ghost, is out now.
This article appears in September 1 • 2017.

