Credit: Photo by Jana Birchum

My first job was the worst I ever had. It was this mom and pop “health food” restaurant in Longview when I was 16. It was miserable. I’ve always considered myself a good worker, but the owners took an immediate disliking to me for some reason. Meanwhile, their son who worked there was this Tyler Durden-like character, just a complete guerrilla terrorist. He had sex with a cantaloupe in the bathroom that I’m pretty sure we served afterward.

One day, he brought in the salad bin when we were closing up. I was washing dishes and he told me to dump it in the trash, so I did and continued to throw other scraps and stuff in there. Then he came back and asked what I did with the salad. He had a to-go container and just started digging through trash and putting it in there because somebody had come in and ordered a salad. So we served trash salad.

Eventually, after about six months, I got fired because the place was failing anyway. Thankfully, it’s not around anymore.


Quiet Company’s biting new EP, Your Husband, the Ghost, is out now.

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Doug Freeman has been writing for the Austin Chronicle since 2007, covering the arts and music scene in the city. He is originally from Virginia and earned his Masters Degree from the University of Texas. He is also co-editor of The Austin Chronicle Music Anthology, published by UT Press.