Madcow
Cattle Prodigy (Borg) If you grew up in the aimless suburban milieu of tallboys, hash pipes, and black-sleeved concert shirts, you probably recall at least a few parties where a few bedraggled hesher dudes set up to play five or six loud, muddy songs before the cops showed up. Despite unbridled enthusiasm and volume, their noise usually failed to disengage partygoers from the reckless pursuit of chemically impaired hook-ups. Madcow captures this ripe aura of misspent youth with all the dubious fervor of a cattle call for a community-theater adaptation of The River’s Edge. The trio’s plan of attack includes indecipherable effect-laden vocals, hell-yeah double kick drums, groaning bass riffs, and the steely, prick-riveting guitar sound that Mick Mars utilized on everything past Too Fast for Love. The 11 songs on Cattle Prodigy resemble a mechanical spanking machine that’s bound to cause repetitive stress injury in all but the stoutest of mind. “Hangnail” may be the most compelling number due to its flanged-out subterranean feedback. “Die, Monster, Die” is bloody-knuckled chum for the loud-fast rules school, while “Bunji Cock” wins points for its prurient title as well as its Faces of Death-style capital punishment imagery. Cattle Prodigy might not distract you from tight-jeaned harlots reeking of Marlboros, but it’s the perfect soundtrack for the time-honored escape known as disengaged debauchery. If I could just score some Feckweed … 
This article appears in October 19 • 2001.
