R. Kelly
Trapped in the Closet Chapters 1-12 (Jive)
After viewing R. Kelly’s rap opera only one question comes to mind: Is he out of his braid-ridden skull? No doubt Kelly’s had a rough couple of years with the legal system, but now he really does believe he can fly. He “sings” all the parts in all the songs, of which there are roughly a dozen. We first see him waking up to a woman he doesn’t know, but with whom he’s obviously gone to the bone yard. He’s forced to hide in her closet because her husband is coming up the stairs. From there, we get Kelly whipping out his Beretta as he asks her pastor husband, “Why can’t we handle this Christian-like?” Threats and cell phone calls are made, and, as Kelly relays in the audio commentary (which is him screening the movie and explaining each scene while he smokes a cigar), there are lots of “cliffhangas.” Husbands and wives are cheated on, people are shot, a spatula is used as a weapon, and a midget makes an appearance, making for one intriguing car wreck with a great beat. R. Kelly obviously does not give a fuck.
This article appears in December 23 • 2005.